San Andrés, Petén

The most popular places on lake Itza to swim are San Andrés and it's neighbor San José. Right in between those two cities is the Hotel Bahai Taitza. It is a wonderful location owned and run by Mauricio. He attended english schools in Guate, and actually speaks better english than any other Guatemalan born Guatemalan I've met.

Mauricio cooks the best food anywhere and will let you swim and use his kayaks or hammocks at no charge. His rooms are well decorated, however have no air conditioning. Being so close to the lake with the cool breeze at night, a ceiling fan is all you really need on most nights. If that's a big issue for you, come during the cold months of November-January. The lake is still warm during that time, even though temperatures dip down into the frigid low 70s.

With a little advanced notice he can cater for big groups. This is also where Los Tigres stayed when playing a concert in Petén, as well as the Rojos (soccer team) when they come to play. He also makes a big Gringo Thanksgiving spread and lots of turkey for Christmas as well.

Seven Cars for a House

A pastor we worked with in Xela wanted to show me his house one day. I didn't really understand because he lived in housing provided by a missionary, but I went anyway. After arriving I realized that construction had just finished on a rental property. I am a big fan of investing in real estate, and had nothing but praise for him and his decision to think about his future.

He answered the question so I didn't have to ask it. How did he get the money? He explained:

"In the past 10 years I have been given 7 cars by pastors in the States. They come down here on a trip and see that I don't have a car, so they buy one while they're here and give it to me. I drive it for a little while, but after not too much time I sell it. Then the next time a different pastor comes down, he does the same thing and buys me a car. The same scenario has repeated itself, and I have traded those seven cars for this house."

This is, obviously, blatant exploitation of the generosity of Gringos. I don't know whether to blame the pastor for lack of due diligence, the missionary who started the church (and was still paying the pastor's salary) for not giving the pastor the complete picture, or just blame the Guatemalan for everything.

Cutting some Corn

My friend Quincho planted his first 50mx50m plot of corn ("milpa" is when it is still on the stalk.) He was really proud of it and said that any day now the corn would be ready to cut "elotes" (corn on the cob). It would be a few more weeks before it would be ready for the big harvest that they could dry out and save to make tortilla dough. I told him that when it was ready, to let me know and I would go cut elotes with him and then my wife could make it for us for lunch.

I got the call and we went in the pickup. It was only about a 30 minute drive on a 4x4 only road. Quincho, Mateo (14 yrs old.) and a big Gringo armed with machetes and a sack. The showed me how to tell which plants were ready and where to slice the plant. Also, how to cut the corn down with the machete. I see now why there are so many thumb injuries (we hear every week about somebody else who almost cut their thumb off). The white and even yellow corn here is not the same as the States. It is tougher, and not very sweet, but it tastes good with salt and neither Quincho nor Mateo had ever had corn on the cob with butter on it. Apparently they liked it. I ate 2. Quincho ate 6 (after a hamburger).

One thing I didn't expect to see: In Guatemala you have to protect your corn from parrots instead of crows. Instead of making a scarecrow (or even a scareparrot) the man next to Quincho killed a pisote (coati mundi) and hung it on a stick. That attracted vultures, whose presence keeps parrots away. I don't know anything about the health effects of rotting carcass on corn, but we'll see if that guy dies.

Every Missionary's Best Friend

My mom wanted us to get a shop vac soon after arriving in Guatemala. They aren't very easy to find and it has been a running joke for the past three years. Finally she bought us one from the Sears in Guate. It is a 5 hp, 12 gallon craftsman. Since taking it out of the box 10 days ago, we have had something to use it for every day.

The first day I filled it up twice with sawdust from the cribs I made here so that we could use that workshop room as a storage room. We never would have been able to clean out that dust without it.

The second day, after putting in new pipes to move our washing machine (our previous laundry room is now the nursery), I turned on the water pump forgetting about the pipe I cut in the nursery. I was strutting around, very proud of myself for not having any leaks and verifying that the new drain was working when I heard water running and it came pouring out of that room. I grabbed a broom to start sweeping it out the front door (we've done this many, many times in the past 3 years) when I remembered my WET/dry vac. In just a few minutes I had everything cleaned up with the only wet casualties being a few flip flops and a belt.

I could go on about cleaning up concrete dust in the shower after fixing a pipe there, or concrete dust after hanging some new curtains my wife just sewed, or picking up flaking paint from walls that got too humid, but the point is that this appliance will probably become a permanent fixture in our hallway... always ready to go where needed. Well, probably not, but I'm really happy to have it, and I think everybody should have one.

The Unexpected Holiday

Here there is at least one holiday every month. The trick is knowing when it is. Also, the days are pretty randomly put together. Of course you know about the main ones like Christmas Eve, New Year's, and Banker's Day... oh, you don't know about Banker's Day, neither did we.

Last month I went to the city to get new tires. I made the trip on a bad tire that I had no confidence in. I arrived to find the city (Santa Elena) full of Army troops and every business was closed. You would have thought there was some sort of coup, but it turns out they were celebrating Army Day. It was a Tuesday, and Army Day was not supposed to be scheduled until Friday, but Santa Elena decided to celebrate on Tuesday. So I returned on Wednesday to find out that it was Banker's Day. On Banker's Day, everybody is closed except the Bank, which is open for just a half day.

How do you make money when you take off for any number of reasons and just shut down your business? You don't, which is another reason why people here are poor. Also, how does somebody not from your town know about the holidays without paying money in gas or transportation? There is no official Guatemalan calendar that announces every holiday in every town.

Another time I needed to get some truck paperwork done. Being short on cash I decided to take a bus, sleep on the way, and take a bus back that same day. I called an acquaintance in Guate the day before I left to let him know I was coming. He had some work to do in Guate, so we couldn't get together. That night I left on the bus at 10:00pm and arrived in Guate at 7:00am. Once I arrived I discovered there was a Guate City only holiday and nobody was working that day. So I had to pay for a hotel to come back the next day. I called my acquaintance (notice I didn't say friend) and asked him about the holiday. He replied, "Oh yeah, I thought about that after you called, but guessed you'd just figure it out when you got here." Sometimes Gringos are stupid too. :)

The US embassy is even worse. They work Monday through Thursday and a half day on Friday. However, they also take off all US holidays, Guatemalan National Holidays, and Guatemala City Holidays.

A Culture of Selfishness

Ok, this might be a touchy subject, but once I understood it, I finally had an answer to the WHY question when we get frustrated with things here.

The culture here is selfish. People grow up and live their lives to look out for numero uno. It explains so much. This is so vastly different from the US foundation of Christian values, namely "Love your neighbor as yourself." I'm not exactly sure how the Guatemalans missed it. Maybe some of it is survival instinct.

Selfishness is why the buses rush and put everybody else either behind, or in danger. The driver in his mind is more important than you. For the same reason people skip ahead at stop lights or will blatantly skip you in line at the store.

Selfishness is what causes somebody to get a dog that they can't feed, and then let it run in the street because it would be too much trouble to keep penned up.

Selfishness is why people will borrow money from the Gringo with no intention of paying it back. It is why they will steal from the Gringo with no feelings of remorse.

Selfishness is why a father would rather get drunk than buy his kids shoes or school supplies.

Selfishness is what will keep Guatemala poor and a third world country. If everybody is only working for themselves, there can't be real teamwork, or helping each other move forward.

Selfishness is what happens when God is not in the picture. God is love, and LOVE is what motivates a person to put their own needs/wants aside and do something for somebody else without expectations of reciprocation.

Guate Wreck

Seen on road to Guate from Petén. Luckily I got there in time...so as not to be delayed by cops directing traffic.

Pinchazo Pt. 2

I had another tire problem not too long ago. While driving around 70 mph, I lost a band on my left front tire. Upon inspection I saw that the metal tire guard had been bent by a mechanic and caught the tire. Thankfully, this happened within 100 yards of a Pinchazo.

The man was working with his two sons and there happened to be two other men there that I knew. I was happy to see that the two boys were working right alongside of their father. The older one was in charge of the jack.

He did not have any tires the same size as what I needed (and my spare was already one of my tires.) He sold me a used tire to use that was much smaller, but fit the rim. It didn't seal right (as the only used tires he gets are ones he takes off of other people's vehicles or buys from people who don't want them any more), so he got some plastic wrap and made a seal. Here is his younger son wrapping it up.

It became a job that everybody pitched in for to get it to seal right and inflate. The tire lasted me long enough to drive home (15 minutes) and back to the city (45 minutes) to buy real tires. Total cost: Q250. Cost of two brand new GoodYear A/T tires in the city: Q3000.

What? I could buy a motorcycle?

We head to the States on Thursday. There are a lot of things you have to do when preparing to leave for an extended time, but the most important for us is to make sure somebody looks after our dogs. Quincho is a young kid (just turned 20) who has been a great friend. We spend a lot of time with him and he is at our house a lot. He also chops the grass once a week with a machete.

Our dogs are really comfortable with him, and he likes to play almost as much as my Boxer. We have left before for short periods of time and he was the logical choice to watch the dogs. It costs him Q5 each way to get to our house. The deal is that he comes to the house in the evening, feeds the dogs, and sleeps in some hammocks we have hanging in the patio. In the morning he feeds the dogs again and heads home.

We pay him the very, very good rate of Q100 a night. That is how much I pay my lead construction worker per 10 hour work day, and Quincho gets to sleep as best as he can for the majority of the time.

I was explaining that this would be around Q3,000/month while we are gone. It is a small price to pay to keep our dogs alive and have somebody watch our house at night so that our neighbors don't steal everything.

He was telling me all the things he was going to buy with his money, thinking in terms of just Q3,000. He has never had that kind of money before, and was listing the normal things like a stereo and cell phone.

It was then that I stopped him and mentioned that if he would save the money, in just three months he could buy a motorcycle. The thought had never occurred to him. The biggest problem his village faces as far as keeping a steady job is transportation. To head to the big city to get a job costs Q40 round trip, and the average job for an unskilled worker is around Q50. However, motorcycles get much better gas mileage, and carpooling would cut his costs in half.

So we went motorcycle shopping. I had to explain that after the cost of the motorcycle he would have to pay for plates, and a helmet, and a jacket. Also have money to repair a flat or change the oil.

Quincho's biggest problem is holding onto money. Even if he could stop himself from spending the money, as soon as he gets home one of his siblings or his mom would ask for the money, so we had to set up something else. I will pay Quincho Q1,000/month and set aside Q2,000/month until he has the money saved up. Then when he gets the Q8,000 needed to buy the motorcycle we will go and buy it.

Now out of the Q1,000/month, 300 will need to be spent on daily transportation. And as much as he calls me, another Q100 will go towards phone minutes, leaving him just Q600 to live on each month.

It may not sound like much, but Quincho still lives with his mom (his dad was killed by "the army" during the war). Right now he lives on Q400/month income of which most goes towards buying things for his friends or splurging on fried chicken, so the biggest challenge will be saving the Q300 for bus fare. If he spends it he will just have to make the 12km trip on foot.

I will be sending the money through Western Union from the States.

Anybody for some jungle rodent?

Ever since arriving in Petén we have been told about the best meat in the whole world. Keep in mind that this is coming from either ex-guerrillas or Kekchi people, therefore from people who eat anything they can catch (such as iguana, parrots, monkeys, snakes...etc.) However, there is one animal that is better than chicken or deer or even beef.

Tepezcuintle here in Petén, also known as a Paca in English. Click HERE to go to the Wikipedia article. Basically it is a 25 pound jungle rodent. Sounds delicious right?

So after being here two years I still had managed to avoid eating it. It is pretty rare and just last year a law was passed, banning it from being served in restaurants. Lonely planet cautioned against eating anything in Petén that might jump from the menu to the endangered species list, and it turns out they were right.

However, my friend's mom has a restaurant and just so happens to have pet tepezcuintle, and they serve tepezcuintle to "amigos" which means anybody that won't rat (pun intended) them out to the authorities.

Finally we had the opportunity, on the way back from Belize, to stop by and eat. My wife ordered steak and I ordered the greatly coveted and slightly prohibited rodent. Grilled Please.

Honestly, it had so much spice on it that you would never known what it really was. It was a little too "Game-y" to be chicken, but it was white meat and had that texture.

So after this experience, a Peteneros "right of passage" you might say, of course I'm going to tell all my friends about it, right? I mean, they've been talking about this big rat for a long time, so of course the Gringo that thinks too much of himself has to brag at least a little. At first everybody got that glazed over look with slight drooling (kind of like my Boxer) and I got lots of kudos.

Little did I know that this is one of those times it is better to just keep your mouth shut. Instead of saying, "Hey everybody, I ate tepezcuintle!" I should have waited until somebody talked about it and then I could have said, "Yeah...I tried that once." And really downplayed the situation.

Case in point. Monday night, in between Bible Studies, my Kekchi friend Marcos came and invited my wife and I to his house for "frescos" (drinks). That alone is dangerous to drink here because I've seen the villages well and pipes and cistern, but it should have been obvious that no Kekchi invites you to his house just for some drinks. It always involves food.

So I walked in and was presented with the customary bowl of piping hot liquid with a hunk of meat inside. I sat down and started to eat, because although Kekchi food may not be the safest food to eat, it always tastes good and they probably put enough chili on it to kill any bad stuff...

As I'm eating I asked what it was because the last time I checked chickens didn't have little tiny ribs (the part of the animal I was fortunate to get.) I was told that it was tepezcuintle! Marcos had hunted and caught it with his dog and since he knew I liked it so much, his wife and daughters prepared it just for me that night!

Afterwards some boys that were there with me last night had seen other skins hanging outside Marcos' house, so I guess I'm lucky I got rodent instead of monkey! Nevertheless, I have eaten two tepezcuintles in a month and now I am wondering just how many more of these things I am going to eat now that I opened my big mouth...

Anybody need some rope?

Ok, so in my last post I told you about THEY. Now we have had another run in with this problem, but with a twist.

Because my wife is pregnant with twins, and this will be her first time giving birth, our doctors in Petén, Guate, and the States have asked us to be in the States for the last trimester. Because of this, and regular Guatemalan stuff that happens, I have just now given her the nursery room, ready to be decorated. This gives her a whole 2 WEEKS to get everything decorated just the way she wants, not to see it again for 5 MONTHS. Needless to say, this has created some stressful situations.

If everything was as easy as running down to Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, or even WalMart, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But we are in Petén, which makes everything harder to find and twice as long to get it done.

One such project is a wall map. Deciding it would be difficult to paint an even line that she would like (she has some OCD tendencies) she came up with the idea of putting it on the wall with rope. Guatemalans love rope, even make a lot of it here, so we thought it would be an easy find.

After not finding rope in 5 different places in our town (besides the plastic kind) we were left with the option of going to town. Luckily, there is a hardware store that has just about anything you'd need, albeit one of each thing and no options from which to choose(the Super Hardware Store).

So I went to the city with the instructions to "Buy a lot of rope." At the Super, I found some rope that was nice and bought all that they had, thinking that 24 meters would be more than enough and I would get all sorts of praise for my great find.

Now for the project details. The wall is 4 meters long by 3 meters high. My wife wanted the world to take up the whole wall. I bought enough to go wall to ceiling 8 times. Surely that is enough right?

Well all we got was the outline of N and S America, and from Russia to South Africa heading west and then South. My 24 meters wasn't enough. No problem, right? Just drive back to the city (45 minutes one way) and buy more rope. I even took a sample to make sure I got the right kind.

After 7 hardware stores, I figured out that everybody has rope, just that everybody has a different size. My size was 3/8. I found 1/8, 3/16, 1/4, 5/16, 7/16...etc. However, nobody had 3/8. So I went back to the Super, already knowing that I had bought all that they had. After talking for a while, they remembered that "the lady" had some at her house but wouldn't be back until that night. If I would come back tomorrow at 9am they would have it for me. Still skeptical, I figured it was my best shot, and thinking it was a good idea, left my sample with them just to make certain that they brought the right one from "the lady's house."

I made one more stop before heading home and to my surprise they had rope labeled 3/8! I no longer had my sample, and it looked a little smaller, but sometimes your mind plays tricks on you. The price was better, so I bought 45 yards of this rope, and headed home to what I was sure would be a hero's welcome!

Of course, the rope wasn't the same. Not even close. It was even a different color. But at least I still had my Super friends and my backup plan to return the next day to buy the exact same rope as what was already on the wall.

Upon returning the next day, I didn't think to cut off another sample piece of rope. My Gringo brain was thinking that of course they would still have my sample from the day before. I got there and they pulled out a big dirty wad of rope that supposedly measured 275 meters. After talking them into only pulling out rope from the center of the wad (that wasn't dirty) I asked for my sample. They replied that they didn't have it, but they checked and this was the same rope.

I bought 30 yards and headed home, admittedly with a little less confidence. My fears were made into reality when upon comparison the rope was different. My wife's regret was that I didn't have a sample with me when I got there, not so that I wouldn't have bought a third type of rope, but so that I could've told them what she thought of them wasting several more hours of her decorating time.

She decided to finish the map with the second type of rope, it being the closest. Here are the final results after a total of 60 yards of rope. If you are wondering, we sketched it with a projector and we attached it with hot glue.

Who are THEY?

We learned a lesson early on. When you find something you like, buy it all, because the next time you go back it may be gone forever. We learned this well during our first few months in Xela. We went to the grocery store (a really nice one called Hiper Paiz) and bought the reasonable number of two cans of Campbell's Tomato Soup. A week later we were surprised that they were out, but figured it would be back in stock in no time. Four months went by before they had any more. By that time we had learned our lesson and since that time we have never had less than 15 cans of tomato soup in our house (you HAVE to have it if you eat grilled cheese sandwiches.)

We have been through this many times with many products. Hot Chocolate, Toaster Stroudels, cans of Corn, Pop Tarts (I'm not telling you where I buy them), Pop Corn, Charmin, Paper Towels, Tide liquid detergent... just to name a few.

We have gone weeks at a time without chicken, or cheddar cheese, even pork of any kind. Last December after a month with no bacon or ham I asked the butcher at our grocery store here in Petén why it had been so long without any pork. She replied, "oh, it's out of season."

Now we buy large quantities of these things when we find them. Especially in a grocery store where they have scanners, you would imagine they would have some sort of inventory system. In high school I worked at Walgreens and remembered the manager's frustration when we would get 5,000 rolls of toilet paper because some wacko bought 500 in one day (me preparing for one busy night of TPing) and the inventory system didn't want the store to run out when it was obviously in high demand. We buy often, even when we don't need more, hoping that somebody will get the clue that there are Gringos that want it and if they bring it, we'll buy it.

But whether we are in a hardware store, tienda, gas station, or a Maxi Bodega, we always get the same answer: "THEY haven't sent it yet." Who are THEY? Nobody knows. Neither the managers in the large stores, nor the owners of the small places have ever been able to tell me who THEY are. Apparently, THEY are some magical people who send a truck and everybody just buys whatever comes off the truck. When I ask if they can order something for me, THEY don't do that. When I try to explain that I will always buy something if they bring it (like I bought 23 packages of Pop Tarts last week), I am always told that THEY just send stuff and you never know what you're going to get.

Deep down I know that it can't be so random as that. I'd like to think that somebody, somewhere in Guate is getting these shipments from the States and thinks, "I bet if we send this to Petén that Gringo will buy it." Now if I could only get a phone number for THEY...

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What's Wrong With Supporting National Pastors?

One mistake we observed while working in Xela for our first 10 months was the great mistake missionaries make by supporting national pastors. This is an accepted practice that most people take for granted. I can't speak to other countries, but in Guatemala this is one of the most disastrous things you can do to a ministry.

First of all, the whole idea of supporting a national is so that the church can be independent of the missionary. The thought is that it is a stepping stone for the pastor and the church. For the pastor in that he can work hard, bring in more people, and have a larger congregation giving to help pay his salary and the church expenses. For the church in that the members may have not been giving very much, knowing that the gringo is in charge, but now they can learn to give as God would have them to.

However, we saw a problem. When the check comes from the missionary, the pastor works for the missionary, not the church. He becomes a hired employee. We'll leave the abuses we saw by missionaries toward their "employees" for another post I'll probably never write, but the point is that pastor should work for the church. When the missionary "hires" a national pastor, he creates in that man a loyalty to the missionary.

What we saw was something we didn't expect, but makes sense economically. The pastor had been in charge of the church with very little influence from the missionary for several years. The missionary would write him a check every month. However, the church never grew. This was blamed on the location, or that the people were "hard-hearted", or that the dreaded Pentecostal churches were stealing away everybody. While these things probably had something to do with it, during our 10 months there we never saw the pastor work to get new people. He never went to visit new people, never had a special activity, not even advertising. He was apathetic towards things we did, not opposing, but not doing anything to help either.

We finally saw what the root cause was. As long as the church stayed small, the pastor got a regular paycheck. He had that security in doing nothing. If the church had grown to the size where it could support a pastor, he would have been dependent on his job performance. He also would have been dependent upon Guatemalan giving, which in reality is not as consistent a Gringo's paycheck.

Many missionaries are more than happy to fall into the rut of cutting a check. Maybe it comes from the power one holds when somebody has to come by to pick up their check. Maybe it is the confidence that they can still count a church as having been started when they tally up their stats. Maybe it is easier than to have to worry about each excuse the pastor will come up with to keep getting money even after he has been "cut off."

It is my opinion that a missionary should NEVER pay a pastor a salary. Either turn over a church that can already support a pastor, or set up the expectation that the pastor be bi-vocational.

Our situation is different from the majority of missionaries in that we are far from civilization. Our men will have to support themselves because even if the entire village attended the church, there wouldn't be the money to support a pastor. Our Pastor's Institute will be set up to teach agricultural skills along with the Bible classes so that a man can feed his family and pastor without ever expecting a pay check for his labors.

I'm interested in your thoughts on this.

El Encantadero

My wife's favorite restaurant in Flores is Las Puertas. It is owned by Cristina, a Chilean lady who has been in Guatemala for a very long time. She is a wonderful friend of ours, although pretty liberal and an avid environmentalist, and will speak English if cornered into it. Everything in her restaurant is safe to eat, and made from natural ingredients. She labels it "Gastronomical."

But if you want to get off the beaten track, head over to Jobompiche. There are micros, but I couldn't tell you how much they charge. The road is rough, but it is well worth it. There she converted her house (right on the clearest water of the lake) into a restaurant. Place your order, then head down to the lake to skip rocks, lounge in the hammocks, go out in her real wooden canoe, play with the crocodile (just kidding) or just sit on the dock and enjoy the view.

We always stop by here with our groups after a day at Tikal. We usually get there right before sunset and it's a great ending to a day. I order the steak because there are not many people here who have good steak. Tell Cristina that Jimmy sent you and it will get you a smile and maybe a free coffee with dessert.

Can you really have friends?

When you come from a significantly different class from somebody, can they really be your friend?

I'm not talking from my point of view, because we care for a lot of people and feel that on our part they are our friends. But we have thought many times that certain people were are friends, only to get burned. Then after you get burned several times, it starts to make you question all your relationships.

Can somebody with nothing, be friends with somebody who in their mind has everything, without hoping that their rich friend will take care of all their problems? Look at it in the States. Do movie stars and professional athletes hang out with middle class? What about hanging out in a ghetto somewhere? Could they maintain that relationship without the less fortunate person looking for or even expecting a handout?

Even though we're not millionaires, everybody thinks that we are. When we get invited to birthday parties, is it because those people are our friends, or because they know we'll bring a gift and maybe loan our plastic chairs for the event?

There have been times when we thought somebody was our friend, and we cared about them. So eventually they need a favor, let's a say a ride somewhere. So give them a ride. Then the next week they need a ride again. Then their family member needs a ride. Then it no longer becomes a favor, it becomes something that's expected. So if a week comes along where you really don't have time or gas to give the ride, you're the one that has to apologize and the other person gets offended. I know it sounds strange, but people will break off all contact with you and keep their kids from coming to your activities for small things like that.

We have lots of people that we care about and would do anything for. If their kid needed surgery, we'd find a way to help them out. If they needed a ride, we'd be more than happy to oblige. However, we could count on one hand the people who would be there for us if we ever needed help.

Why Wouldn't You Want To Go To The States?

I get lots of people who talk to me about going to the States. Sometimes they think I can get them there easier, or get them a job once they do get there, or something that would benefit them. Other times they just want information. That's why I was pleasantly surprised the other day when one man told me he could never spend even 6 months in the States.

His reason was that he could never go without eating his food! He said that every meal he wanted some tortillas, beans and limes. Apparently he would go crazy if all he had to eat was white bread, hamburgers, pizza, or any of that other stuff Gringos eat all the time.

Oh yeah, and he wouldn't want to leave his family for very long.

But more than that, he would really really miss his good home cookin'!

Isn't it nice to know we're not the only ones who have troubles adapting?

Driving in Guatemala Pt. 2

For the first 6 months in Guatemala, every time you pass a police truck on the side of the road, you instinctively take your foot off the brake and slow down, anticipating a speed trap. Then you gently chide yourself as you remember that the Guatemalans don't have radar guns, or even care about traffic safety (this is for everywhere except Guatemala City, where traffic cops are a whole different post). We asked some 30 year veteran missionaries why, if nobody cared, were there police stopped on the side of the road. They explained that they were just waiting for an accident to happen.

Well, we soon realized that the police do more than just sit around or drive slowly so that you can pass them. Sometimes they get hungry! When they get hungry they set up a checkpoint. These checkpoints can be for just about anything. They always ask for your driver's license and circulation card (Guatemalan registration). If you have both of those things, they move on. Next they ask if you have drugs or guns. Of course, the answer is no. I'm not sure who would have drugs or guns and answer yes. Unlike in the States, they don't ask for permission here and will start to open your doors and look around for themselves. There are two things that might happen,

One, they find something they want. This is usually something like bottles of water or coke, or sometimes food items like chips or snacks. If they find this, they will show it to you, ask you questions about it, and tell you how much they like it.

Actual conversation: Police-"So you have a package of water bottles back here." Jimmy- "Yes, there is a group of doctors here and they need to have lots of water in this heat." P- "Well we need water too. We really like water." J- "Well everybody needs water." P- "Yes, and in this heat we REALLY need water. Alot. And we are really thirsty... So, we need to check your paperwork again and can you pop the hood?" J, getting tired of sitting around- "Hey ya know what? Why don't you take the water?" P, handing back my license- "Really, well thanks a lot. Have a nice day!"

That same scenario has happened several times with different outcomes. One time I lost a couple of recently bought cokes, over the threat that they were going to take my truck apart and look for drugs.

Scenario number two can be a little more expensive. They don't find something they want. If this happens they are going to do their best to get some money from you. They will comb through your passport and look under the hood, desperate to break you. This will turn into a battle of wills, them hoping you will just offer money, and you hoping they will just let you go. Usually you will be able to go, unless they find something wrong. If you don't have your passport, or somebody with you doesn't or whatever, Q100 will get you back on the road. It will also get you the cop's phone number in case you ever need anything. Police Xela, Police Guate, and Police San Benito are three different entries in my phone. If I get in trouble in any of those places, I can call that number and know that for Q100 I can get out of it.

Something that has helped recently is being friends with somebody the police know. Close to New Horizon (a community of ex-guerrillas) I can say that I am headed there or that I work there and they will let me go, usually out of fear. When we have other gringos with us, I tell them that they are staying at a certain hotel (which they are) that is owned by a certain family that owns the police department in our part of Petén. This is almost as fun as playing a Get Out of Jail Free Card in Monopoly (or Bancopoly).

The Caves of Santa Elena

Most people fly up, go to Tikal, and fly back to Guate that evening or the next morning. Tikal is great, and after going 12 times, I'm still not tired of it, but you really can see everything you need to in 4 hours with the right guide.

If you've got a few days, there are a lot of activities in Petén that are a lot of fun, but most tourists don't know about. A couple weeks ago I took 21 people from our two villages to Santa Elena for a trip out. It was for people in our Bible Studies who have been doing their homework, memorizing verses and bringing their Bibles. We wanted to have an incentive for those people who are committed. First we ate at Pollo Campero. Not only is it inexpensive and air conditioned, but not a single person had ever eaten there.

A tuk tuk can get you there (Q5/person.) You will see a store that sells bottled water, and it is there you pay. All the people laying around are part of the same family that gets paid to watch the cave for the government. Admission is Q20/person. You'll also want a flashlight (Q7) and a guide. It is great that once you enter the temperature drops down to what Peteneros call cold.

The formations are natural and the guide will show you around the semi-lighted area for Q50. After you are done you exit where you came in. This part is huge and worth it, however, for real fun, you can pay the guide and extra Q100 to take you to the other side. Make sure you have fresh batteries, as it can take 1.5-2 hours to make the 1.5 kilometer trip. The cave is muddy, slippery, and full of bats. There are a couple places you have to crawl on your belly, and if you have a back pack you won't fit. Other places you slide downhill on your nalgas.

Once you come out you will be filthy and the guide will take you up over the hill you climbed under. There is a place to rinse off your hands, but good luck getting a tuk tuk back. If you do get one to pull over, make sure he has plastic covering the seat and pay him double so that it is worth the cleaning he'll have to do later. If you like walking, it is only about 3 miles from Flores and is a pretty safe walk, so go for it. You'll probably get a lot of strange looks from the people in the market.

Now everybody play "¿Where's Gringo?" Only the guys in the group wanted to make the trip all the way through.

Who Wants a Better Stick?

A few weeks ago we had the opportunity to visit Spanish Lookout in Belize. It is a community of Mennonites, who have a marvelous story that shows you what can be possible with hard work and the desire to be better.

52 years ago 40 families moved to Belize to start a new life, away from the damaging cultural trends and influences they saw in the States and Canada. Unfortunately, once they arrived they lost literally everything they had. The way to grow food and survive in hot wet Belize was very different from what they had been taught. They spent the first rainy season living under tarps in the jungle. They had less than their poor Belizean neighbors and lost all their children to Malaria.

Their neighbors showed them how to plant corn by burning off the land, then using a stick to poke a hole in the land, bending over and dropping some seeds in the dirt and moving on. This back breaking work gave results and they had enough food their second year to survive.

The next year somebody came up with the idea to put a foot pedal on the stick so that instead of forcing the stick into the ground, they could step on it to make the hole. This greatly reduced blisters and made the work a little bit easier.

The next year somebody else decided to make the stick hollow so that they could drop the seed down through the hole without having to bend over. Once again, the work was easier and they got more done.

The next year a hopper was designed that would automatically dispense the seeds down the stick.

Now, 52 years later, Spanish Lookout is responsible for 82% of all produce in the country of Belize. Instead of sticks, they use tractors, combines and airplanes. The man who showed us around is personally responsible for 96% of all rice consumed in and exported from Belize.

At their 50 year anniversary celebration, they invited all the men who helped them when they first arrived. They were sharing memories and talking about where they came from. When asked how the Belizeans were planting their corn they replied, "We poke a stick into the ground."

What is it about the US mentality that makes one yearn to have better, to figure out how to work half as much and earn double? Dando vuelta a la tortilla (flipping around the tortilla), what is it about the Guatemalan mindset where they are content do things the same way it's always been done, without ever questioning why or if there's a better way?

Driving in Guatemala Pt. 1

One thing many people note about third world countries is their lack of traffic laws. You'll generally see it in your first taxi ride from the airport. There is usually some dummy that will cut you off or your taxi himself will create a third turn lane where there is only one.

In the mountains, with the chicken buses darting in and out on those mountain roads with no guard rails, a persons life expectancy considerably drops. We found out with great surprise that many of those road hazards disappeared once we got to Petén. Of course, we have very few roads that are paved, but our highways are generally straight, in great condition, and with good paint, reflectors and signs. Also, chicken buses were replaced with Tuk Tuks, and since I'm 4 times their size (just by myself, let alone in my pickup) I don't let them bully me.

However, when you still have uninhibited drunk driving, cows, horses, pigs, dogs and motorcycles (none of which have taillights) all over the roads, not to mention people, who have never driven and thus have no respect for a vehicle or how fast it can or cannot stop, driving here can be unnerving for first timers. Add to that no regulated speed limit, the vast amount of people without licenses, and a general attitude of selfishness that permeates all aspects of society here, and you have a recipe for disaster.

Therefore, I propose the question, "Why don't we see more accidents?" We saw about the same amount of accidents in the States, traveling around for 11 months (and 55,000 miles) as we have in Guatemala. I know accidents do happen, and when they do they are often tragic, but there are very few fender benders. I've had a couple of my own, but I was a green driver and I'll share those in a later post.

I propose that Guatemalans, for all of their aforementioned problems, are safer drivers than those in the States. Here, if you stop on the highway, nobody will hit you. People are always watching for road hazards, because they happen so frequently. There is no cruise control that lulls people into unconscious driving. Nobody here reads while driving, does their make-up, or even yell at their kids (mainly because their kids are in the back of the truck). Anybody who does not drive defensively, dies (about the same as dogs that don't cross highways defensively).

Driving is just another part of cultural adaptation one has to get accustomed to. You may never enjoy it, but you understand it and can survive it. It is scary at first, but after a while it becomes far scarier for observers and passengers than it is for the driver.

In Part 2 I'll write about the Police...

Funny Things You Might See at Medical Clinics

We have been involved in six different medical clinics in our almost three years here now. The first one all we did was translate while another missionary hosted in the mountains. Then we hosted one in the mountains. We have hosted 2 large medical groups work with us in Petén and twice we just went with a doctor where we didn't have much involvement in the actual medical process at all, but we were there for support, transportation and liaison between our Kekchi friends and the doctor. When you offer medical care to people who don't have access to it, you get to see a wide array of problems. Here are a few of the more memorable incidents.

A lady came with her symptoms card my wife had filled out for her. It said, "Milk coming out of armpit." After answering several clarifying questions and frustrated that the doctor and I weren't exactly understanding, she lifted up her shirt, squeezed her armpit, and sure enough, milk came out!

In one village in the mountains of Huehuetenango we were surprised that our first day only a few people came. Usually we have long lines of people and work all day. The doctors were frustrated and we had a second day scheduled to come back to the village. Everybody was asking if it was even worth the long, bumpy, 4x4 only trip to get there. We came back a second day and found a long line waiting for us. They told us that the people who went the first day were the guinea pigs to see if anybody died. A few years before the government announced that they would be giving free vaccinations sponsored by the Mormon church. However, "Latter Day Saints" translated to "Saints of the Last Days." These people (for whom spanish is a second language if spoken at all) understood that the government was coming out to euthanize them all. For that reason the government is never allowed to come into their village and our medical clinic was ill attended. After seeing that people who took our medicine did not die overnight, the people gave us their confidence.

An elderly man of about 50 came up to us and said he had had a bad operation on a hernia seven years ago and it was still giving him problems. Sounds easy enough. Then he dropped his pants and there were parts of him that should have been inside, hanging out for us to see! Then he showed us the bag that collected his urine that he had to empty out a couple times a day. He said after his surgery, he couldn't find his doctor and had been waiting until he came back to get it fixed. Thankfully, the doctors there took him to a hospital and performed the surgery at no cost.

We went to a village, again in Huehuetenango that was located at over 10,000 feet elevation. For this reason it was very cold, all year long. We kept seeing child after child with skin rashes all over themselves. The doctor told me to ask if they had pets in the house. "Oh no, no pets in the house." Ok, do you have animals in the house? "No, no animals in the house...oh, well, the pigs sleep inside at night." Pigs in the house? "Yes, to keep warm." I'm not sure whether she meant to keep her kids or the pigs warm. We had a very similar situation with the next family using sheep at night to keep warm. Instead of an electric wool blanket, you have a self heating, still on the sheep blanket. Unfortunately, it's a great way to spread scabies.

People are very worried that they will say something wrong when the come to a clinic and be denied medicine. Therefore people in line ask questions to those walking out to find out what the magic words were to get their medicine. If you ask somebody if they have a headache, the answer will be yes. If you ask if their right ear hurts when they lift their left leg, the answer will be yes. We caution our doctors to only ask "either or" questions like, "when does your head hurt most?" We learned this lesson after a day where every single lady in a village had severe yeast infections and the doctors were very concerned. Unfortunately, I now know the color, smell, consistency and itchiness factor of the discharge of every woman in Santiago, Huehuetenango.

Update on Water Situation

Today I finally had the time to finish my rain collection project. Up until now our only water collection consisted of a bucket under our window air conditioner. Just a little insight into our humidity here. Our 8000 BTU window unit running only at night will fill a 5 gallon jug in two nights. Doesn't sound like much water until you realize it's 3-4 flushes, something we highly value around here.

Quincho was here chopping the grass (with a machete), so after he was done we went to the hardware store. I bought one 4" drainage pipe at Q100 for a six meter tube, two elbows at Q35 each, an end cap at Q20, and a half yard of screen for Q10. There is only one place here that sells tubes with a line down one side. That made it a lot easier to cut straight. It took about 15 minutes with a PVC saw to cut it on one side. After that it was pretty straight forward. We slid it on the metal roof end and then used some left over bailing wire I had laying around to tie it tight on both ends. The weight of the elbowed end was enough to cause a slope so the water ran towards that side

and the cap kept anything else from flowing out the other end. I cut part of the screen and put it over the final tube to create a rough filter to keep large bugs and leaves and sticks and avocados out of my cistern. I didn't glue it so that it should just pop off when I want to clean it, but it had be forced on so hard that I'm hoping if it gets a little clogged it won't fall off and defeat the purpose. So another $25 to our water total and now we wait for rain.

It's kinda funny to me that since the pump broke for our town, it hasn't rained either. This has been the driest, rainy season of the three we've been here for. Today the big truck across the street was packing up and I went to find out what was going on. Supposedly they fixed the pump and we would have water now. I asked if they would turn it on to try it and they said not until tomorrow.

It was noon, so I suggested that they turn it on just to give water for a little while. They explained that that didn't make sense, since it was already noon and the water shuts off at 2 usually (when the generator runs out of gas.) So obviously people who haven't had water in 8 days wouldn't want it, even for 2 hours. Go figure.

They reassured me that it would be my side of the street tomorrow, but the time I tried to bribe/ask politely for them to turn it on our side for an hour they asked 3 times whether it was my day to have it or not. On the same note as above, whoever would have had 2 hours of water today, but didn't get it because the water guy couldn't be bothered to hang out another 2 hours won't have it tomorrow either and will have to wait until Thursday. Also, since they didn't check it (no generator ever started up, they are just taking for granted that since they replaced a part/of course it will work) there is still a pretty good chance something else is wrong and nobody will have water tomorrow either.

So we pray for rain...during the rainy season.

What's the Gringo Price?

A teen in one of our villages recently asked me to buy him some shoes the next time I was in the city. He was very specific about what he wanted and told me he would pay me for them when I brought them. He said, "They cost Q30." I mentioned slightly jokingly, "What if they charge me more for having a white face?" He said under no circumstance was I to pay more than Q30.

I found said shoes in a store in the center of the market. When I found the right size I asked how much out of curiosity instead of just handing him Q30. If you know the right price and don't want to fight about it, you should just pay the person rather than ask how much. I use this same tactic when I forget to verify the price of a Tuk Tuk before getting on board.

50, he told me. I set the shoes down and walked out of his area. I then turned around and said, "Oh, I was told 30, but I guess I have to pay more because I'm white and you want to take advantage." His response, "30 then." He then put the shoes in a bag, I gave him the money and not another word was spoken.

I like to think that I played some small part in helping to stop the rampant discrimination against foreigners, or at least proved to him that I wasn't as stupid as I looked, but the reality is probably far removed from either of those.

Free Gift with Prayer

We have a personal policy to never give anything away. The main reason for this is for personal effectiveness in reaching our goals. As missionaries it would be very easy for us to walk into a village with suitcases full of clothes/medicine/candy/school supplies and have everybody repeat a prayer after us before we give them anything and tell our supporters in the States of the thousands we have saved every month. We know you can do it because lots of other people do. We just read about somebody in another Central American country that held a medical clinic, but before they let people see the doctor, they gave them the plan of salvation and asked who wanted pray with them. They were amazed by the high percentage of people who were so "open to the gospel." In the States we would never think of making a statement of faith just to get something for free, but here there are a lot of cultural things that make it ok.

First of all, you never tell somebody no in Guatemala because you don't want to offend them. A typical conversation I have: "Are you coming tonight?" "Yeah, we're on our way now." "Are you just saying that to be nice or are you really coming?" laugh laugh "No, I'm really coming." End result, they don't come. Why lie? Because Guatemalans are extremely sensitive. If you catch somebody stealing something and then tell them they stole something, you are the bad guy and rejected by that entire family for hurting their feelings.

Secondly, they are used to a religion where they repeat a prayer after somebody. They don't know what anything means, but they can repeat words. In fact, that is how they are taught in school. You repeat. Want to learn english? Write "See Spot run." 30 times tonight for homework. Want to learn math? Write "2+2=4" 30 times tonight. No story problems. No logic. No thinking for yourself. Just repeat after me. So when you give somebody here the option to repeat, they are already pre-programmed for it.

Another reason we can't give stuff away is that after we start we won't be able to stop. People don't understand that we have a limited cash flow. If we give something to one person, in their minds we should be able to give that same thing to everyone. Then when we say no, we would be accused of playing favorites, or "buying people" (That's a real reason people used to try and get us kicked out of a village once.)

The final reason is for our own benefit. If we give stuff or money to somebody, and then that person does accept Christ, or becomes a faithful attendee to our Bible Studies, what are we to think of their decision. Unfortunately it would taint our thoughts about that person, always wondering if they were there or said the things they said because of what they received or what they wanted in the future. Although we have had people come who were only looking to get something from the Gringos, eventually they leave when they realize it's not going to happen. At this point we know that the people who come, do so because they genuinely want to know more about God and His book, and not because of a free hand-out.

We of course do things to help the people here. We provide services. We don't hand out clothes but we have painted their schools and refinished their desks. We gave away school supplies, but not pens and pencils and paper for the kids, but instead boxes full of stuff for the teachers to use and keep.

At our first medical clinic we were faced with the dilemma of wanting to tell people the gospel and why these doctors came, but also wanting to avoid false decisions. We came up with this idea: We charged people Q1 ($.13) to come through the clinic. This prevents people from going through and is the same price the government charges. However, when announcing door to door we told people that if they asked, Jimmy would pay it for them. My wife was in charge of registration (filling out a card for them with their name and symptoms.) We had two stamps, one in black ink that said "Cancelado", translated to Paid in Full, and another in red ink that said, "Cancelado por Jimmy" or Paid by Jimmy. Every time somebody tried to pay, my wife would say, "If you ask, Jimmy will pay for it." Most people would go ahead and ask, however some would say, "That's ok, I'll pay for it myself." After seeing the doctor and receiving their vitamins, medicines and parasite medicine, we prayed with each person before they left. Not in a repeat after me make an eternal decision right now prayer, but instead a prayer asking God to use the medicine to make them feel better. Then we would follow up. In a personal way afterwards, with nothing available for them to receive we could make the parallel between asking God to pay their debt of sin and Jimmy paying their debt for the clinic visit. They didn't have to pay, but it was their choice whether they did or not.

How much would YOU pay for water?

Of course it is a basic necessity. Water. Without it my life is pretty miserable. Ignore the obvious like not bathing or flushing the toilet, but my wife is the kind that relieves stress by cleaning, and is adversely affected by not. Therefore I try really hard to make sure we always have water.

When we first looked at the house we're in, there was no water. After talking to a plumber in the city, it appeared to be an easy solution: Buy a pump, buy a pressure tank, and buy a tinaco (cistern). Not realizing how much water the average person uses every day, I bought what appeared to be huge at 1100 liters. I also bought a 1 hp pump and a pressure tank as requested. There are NO plumbers in El Chal, as we soon found out when inspecting the plumbing in the house. I brought one with me who works for the government in Santa Elena. The downside to this is he only had a week of vacation and as most government employees from any country, extremely slow.

We soon found out that the water is only on here every other day from 7am to around 2pm. I say around because turning the water on involves turning on the pump with a large diesel generator. The guy from the town brings a couple gas cans full of diesel and lets it run until it runs out of gas. Then the water shuts off. Everybody, no matter how much water they use, pays $2.50/month for water. They have a little book with people's addresses in it. I waited for 6 months for a bill before I found out how it worked and then paid my overdue 6 months and the next 12 months. So a year and half of water for only $45. Pretty neat, huh?

Another problem is that the town pump does not pump water high enough for it to reach chest level, let alone shower head level. It would basically only reach your knees. Therefore the plumber had to dig a hole to put the cistern in. After spending a day digging the hole in the rock he finally got everything connected, we waited for our day for water and then tried out the system. It was then we realized whoever installed the plumbing in the house didn't use glue. Every time we'd glue a pipe another would pop apart. For our first 6 months we ran out of water a few times, but mainly because of the shower faucet that wouldn't turn off.

For the next 6 months we never ran out of water. The only time we had that problem was when the electricity was off and therefore the pump couldn't turn on. Then one day we came home to the hose and the pipe it was connected to laying about 15 feet away from where it once was connected. This wouldn't have been a problem except that our pump emptied all of our water and the only way to fix the pipe was to break a chunk of concrete foundation to glue on new connectors. $5

Then one fateful day we came home to a disaster. Apparently a small animal hid behind the blocks that were cleverly stacked to hide our pump from preying eyes and our dogs knocked them all down to get to it. I never found a dead animal in our yard, so apparently the only successful thing they did was to break every tube on every side of our pump, once again emptying our cistern. The next day was not our day for water, but I bought new pipes and connectors and had everything ready for when it finally was. $10

Recently we had two girls come visit us. This had us running our dishwasher every day and doing several loads of laundry. It was then I figured out that the average person uses 80 to 100 gallons per day. So with all the flushing and drinking and hand washing, we drained our cistern a couple times. If you catch it, it doesn't hurt the pump that much, unfortunately we were close and one fateful flush in the middle of the night used the last of the water. The pump ran all night long and by morning it was complete burned out. So the next day I went and found a 1/2 hp pump that I think will save me electricity and replaced it. $120

This week the generator our town uses broke. Fortunately we knew when it broke and started the "When it's yellow let it mellow. When it's brown flush it down." Emergency water saving plan. That combined with no laundry, dish washing, and 1 minute showers has allowed us to have water. Even today 5 days later, our 1100 liters still was about 25% full. Unfortunately, the average stress level in the house was rising at an exponential rate to that of how many dishes were on the counter in direct correlation to the amount of clothes spilling out of the top of the hamper.

I've been meaning to buy a secondary cistern since we found out one was not enough for four people and with twins my wife will be doing significantly more laundry. So yesterday I went and bought one. Being at the start of the rainy season we are going to use it to collect rain water and then after the rainy season we'll work something out to put it on our roof as an extra reservoir we'll fill up on water days. After setting up the new cistern and hooking it up to a hose, I called the voluntary firemen. $120

For $20 the firemen will bring you a truck full of water. 8000 liters to be exact. Of course, our distance from the city added a $30 fuel surcharge, but I thought $50 to be a small price to pay when compared to how much I love my wife and only long for her happiness. We only needed 2200 liters, but I'm not going to let the firemen get away with that much water I'd already paid for, so my wife went with them door to door filling up our neighbor's pilas and barrels. The remaining water was enough for 9 households to also have water. 2 people said thank you. 7 people took it for granted that even though we'd never spoken before and they refuse to wave at us, of course the gringos would buy them water. Oh well, at least I have clean underwear.

So, two months, $305. At least now maybe it's all fixed, unless this generator thing doesn't get resolved soon.

Beware the Cold Night Air!

A country-wide superstition in Guatemala is that anything cold will kill you. I would imagine this started in the mountains and gradually migrated north to Petén. We were told about this, but our first encounter with it was during the first medical clinic we were a part of:

An old grandmother brought her two granddaughters with this complaint: "My granddaughters wake up early in the morning before I do and drink ice-cold water and now look how skinny they are!" Of course, they were skinny because of the parasites and amoebas in the water, but she wanted the doctor to tell the girls to stop drinking cold water.

This irrational fear of anything cold presents itself in conversation several times each month. Parents won't let their children ride in the cab of the truck because of the air conditioning. When I got Dengue Fever I was cautioned to not turn on the air in the truck, and Shelley was told that she had to open the fridge for me because if I stood in front of the fridge with a fever I would die.

It is easy to think that this thinking would be limited only to those uneducated living in small villages, but recently we have had stupid conversations with a whole different class. Keep in mind that on a regular basis the temperature here is over 100 degrees in the afternoon, but because of our concrete walls and roof it will still be over 90 in our house until 2 am.

A few weekends ago I went to a wedding. The reception was held at one of the most expensive restaurant here with over 200 in attendance. At least $10,000 was spent on this wedding, so we are talking about a very wealthy upper class family. They live on the border of Belize and Guatemala and went to Belizean schools, therefore the family speaks English. While almost everybody was dancing (except for the lone gringo who bowed out with the accurate generalization that white boys can't dance) a recent mother was telling me about how well she was raising her 4 month old. She said, "I give her a drink of cold water every morning so that she will develop immunity. Isn't that right Jimmy, a child can develop immunity to things like that if you give it to them when they're young?" She went on to say that it was Salvavidas pure water, so I told her that she was correct in that when her daughter grows up cold water won't hurt her.

This past week we sat next to a lady who owns our favorite hotel in Petén and was the owner of our house when we lived in Santa Elena. She was giving advice on how to raise our twins after they are born. She said that we need to put a fan in their room as soon as we get them home so that they will develop immunity to the fan. Her kids always had a fan, so they had no problem, but whenever her sister's kids sleep with a fan in their room they get the flu, therefore you have to start early. We of course did not open the can of worms of telling her our plans to have an air conditioner in our kids' room.

I do remember when my grandmother used to tell my mother to get her kids out of the bad night air, so this superstition is not too far removed from the States, but how many years ago did we discover germs? Has that information just not made it yet?

The consequences of Illegal Immigrations

The illegal immigration debate comes up frequently in US politics, but severely lacking is the focus on the consequences for the countries illegal immigrants come from. Here are some of our experiences:

The plan is pretty consistent during many conversations with men wanting to go to the US: Pay a Coyote Q40,000 ($5,000). Arrive in the States. Immediately find a job. Stay for 10 years during which time you have built yourself a house, bought a bunch of land, put your kids through school and of course, paid back all the family members that loaned you the Q40,000. After you've made enough you turn yourself in and get a free plane ticket to come home and live the rest of your days as a retired rich guy.

10 years is a long time for a man to be by himself. During one medical clinic a mother brought her 10 year old son. His problem was accidental BMs during class at school. He wouldn't even realize it until his "friends" started making fun of him once they smelled it. The doctors immediately thought it was a psychological problem and asked when it started. "Right after his dad called and told him he had a new family in the States and wouldn't be coming home." Men who go to the States leave behind children who grow up without the benefit of a father figure. Their sons grow up spoiled and their daughters grow up to be sluts. Their wives many times have more kids. If the guy actually does return after becoming accustomed to things like reliable plumbing and electricity, not to mention fast food, they come back to a family that doesn't even know who they are. The entire family structure here is breaking down.

San Benito, Petén is the second most violent city in Guatemala (number one is solidly Guatemala City). The reason is the high percentage of men in the States. Their kids don't have to get jobs like other teens their age, so they have lots of free time on their hands (even if a teen goes to school, it is only in session from 1pm-5:30pm). They have money because of their fathers (so they buy guns which are cheaper than video games). They form gangs of gun wielding vandals who shoot Tuk Tuk drivers for fun and steal motorcycles for joy rides. I know this for a fact here in Petén and would be interested to know the profile of a gang member in Guate City.

In the department of San Marcos there is a town called San Martin Chili Verde. In 5 years land prices increased 100 times. The reason was that a number of the men went to the States together. Once they got jobs there was a rush to see who could buy the most land. It destroyed the fair market value for land. The men that stayed (and did not break the law or abandon their families) cannot afford to buy land because their job doesn't pay them enough.

We live currently in the town of El Chal. El Chal is a dirty, horrible little town full of ignorant people and the only place in all of Guatemala where nobody waves at anybody else. The majority of the men here are either in the States or worked for the narcos. The only claim to fame here is a water park built buy the narco family and the highway runs straight through the middle of town about 40 minutes from Flores. A 50m x 50m sized piece of land here without electricity, water or title costs Q100,000.

The town of San Francisco is 12 minutes from Flores. It is a beautiful, well kept town populated by the doctors, lawyers, engineers and school teachers who work in the Flores/Santa Elena/San Benito area, but wanted to get away from the violence. The new mayor is a medical doctor. Without the vast inflation caused by immigrants, land is actually affordable. A 50m x 50m piece of land, here with electricity, water and title costs between Q35,000-Q50,000.

By allowing illegal immigration to continue, the US is destroying any chance Guatemala has of improving itself. By removing male influence, separating families, increasing violence and gross inflation, Guatemala is destroying yet another generation and raising the next one in an environment where the only option they are presented with is to leave.

Pinchazo

Yesterday at the gas station I asked the guy to check my tires. I do this about once a week and give the guy a Q5 tip for the work. While it's only about $.65 and in the states you would think I am offending the guy, keep in mind that for that same amount I can get a guy to mix cement for me by hand for an hour.

My tires need to be at 40psi, but after our long bumpy trip last week they were down to 35, 20, 35 and 8. The 8 was the one that worried me. He filled it up, but I noticed at the dump today that it was very low again. Luckily I had my handy emergency tire repair can and filled it up so I could go get it fixed.

I've seen lots of "pinchazos", or tire repair shops, on the sides of the road but have never had the pleasure of stopping by one. The tire was maintaining air just fine after my magic can, but next week I am taking a generator and a bunch of doctors 5 hours round trip on a bad road and don't want to get stuck changing my tire at night in the middle of literally nowhere Petén.

I pulled up and explained my problem. They then proceeded to look for the leak by pouring muddy water over the top of my tire while looking for leaks. I have seen my air conditioner repair guy do the same thing on our Blazer, but he puts soap in his water to look for bubbles. I wasn't sure what these guys would see, especially after I told them about the quick repair. After moving my truck so they could not see a leak underneath it, they told me they were going to pull off the tire. I thought finally. After taking off my big 70 lb. tire they submerged it in water. I had a brief flashback to when my dad used to teach me how to repair my bicycle inner tubes in the same way. I'm not sure how normal this is, but at least they got the tire clean and didn't find any nails. After still not finding any leaks I asked them if they could take it off the rim and look inside for any punctures.

This is when they informed me that since I used the can of repair foam they would not be able to fix my tire. They said patches don't work after that and the only thing they may be able to do would be to put an inner tube inside my tire. Luckily they informed me that the can appeared to be working and I wouldn't have any more problems with my leak. (I'm glad they are positive about what is not their problem.)

Maybe somebody can tell me if this is really as crazy as I am assuming it to be. These are 6 ply tires and I don't know that they will have an inner tube strong enough to hold up my tire. I politely declined and made a mental note to buy a few more magic cans next time I go to the city so that I can prepare for the worst on this one. We'll see how this holds up.

Rent Discount

The house we are renting is not the biggest house around, but it is just enough for the two of us. However, now that we are having two more arrive in 7 months, we need to make some space. So I called the owner and asked her if we could build a storage room in the back yard in order to rearrange the house. Worst-case scenario we have to pay for it ourselves, but I wasn't going to offer that.

Yesterday she came over to look at the spot I wanted to build it. I estimate it will cost us about 10,000 quetzales to build a 3.5 meter/3.5 meter concrete block room with a metal door and a metal roof. We are not paying very much rent, but I still asked her to drop the price by Q150/month. I explained to her that at that discount it would take me 5.5 more years to recoup the Q10,000. She accepted quickly, but then asked if I could pay her a year in advance. Right now we pay 3 months advance and have paid until the end of May. Her husband is in the States (illegally) and hasn't had a job lately. I think I can get the money together by the end of May and I like having the security that with two new babies we won't be asked to leave the house if her husband gets deported and comes home.

This morning she called me. She spoke with her husband and said that they would give the Q150 discount on the rent, however they needed to raise Q100 because they weren't charging enough to begin with. This would give a net discount of Q50/month. I told her that I wasn't planning on staying in the house 16 years in order to get the money back from the storage room. I also reminded her that we pay so little because when we got the house it had no doors on the rooms, no paint on the walls, no water tubes glued together, no water that made it to the sink, and very few outlets that had wires behind them. I also explained that I have a request with the electric company to boost our power so that we run a second air conditioner, but that I will have to re-wire much of the house and add another 50amp breaker (right now our whole house is on just one).

We discussed it a little more and I finally agreed to only a Q100 discount, but I told her I would only be able to pay her 6 months in advance instead of a year. This information changed everything for her and she agreed to go back to our previous agreement and get the year in advance. We'll see how long it takes for her to ask me for more rent money. She has never made it to three months before asking for the next installment. I'm betting on 6 months.