Funny Things You Might See at Medical Clinics

We have been involved in six different medical clinics in our almost three years here now. The first one all we did was translate while another missionary hosted in the mountains. Then we hosted one in the mountains. We have hosted 2 large medical groups work with us in Petén and twice we just went with a doctor where we didn't have much involvement in the actual medical process at all, but we were there for support, transportation and liaison between our Kekchi friends and the doctor. When you offer medical care to people who don't have access to it, you get to see a wide array of problems. Here are a few of the more memorable incidents.

A lady came with her symptoms card my wife had filled out for her. It said, "Milk coming out of armpit." After answering several clarifying questions and frustrated that the doctor and I weren't exactly understanding, she lifted up her shirt, squeezed her armpit, and sure enough, milk came out!

In one village in the mountains of Huehuetenango we were surprised that our first day only a few people came. Usually we have long lines of people and work all day. The doctors were frustrated and we had a second day scheduled to come back to the village. Everybody was asking if it was even worth the long, bumpy, 4x4 only trip to get there. We came back a second day and found a long line waiting for us. They told us that the people who went the first day were the guinea pigs to see if anybody died. A few years before the government announced that they would be giving free vaccinations sponsored by the Mormon church. However, "Latter Day Saints" translated to "Saints of the Last Days." These people (for whom spanish is a second language if spoken at all) understood that the government was coming out to euthanize them all. For that reason the government is never allowed to come into their village and our medical clinic was ill attended. After seeing that people who took our medicine did not die overnight, the people gave us their confidence.

An elderly man of about 50 came up to us and said he had had a bad operation on a hernia seven years ago and it was still giving him problems. Sounds easy enough. Then he dropped his pants and there were parts of him that should have been inside, hanging out for us to see! Then he showed us the bag that collected his urine that he had to empty out a couple times a day. He said after his surgery, he couldn't find his doctor and had been waiting until he came back to get it fixed. Thankfully, the doctors there took him to a hospital and performed the surgery at no cost.

We went to a village, again in Huehuetenango that was located at over 10,000 feet elevation. For this reason it was very cold, all year long. We kept seeing child after child with skin rashes all over themselves. The doctor told me to ask if they had pets in the house. "Oh no, no pets in the house." Ok, do you have animals in the house? "No, no animals in the house...oh, well, the pigs sleep inside at night." Pigs in the house? "Yes, to keep warm." I'm not sure whether she meant to keep her kids or the pigs warm. We had a very similar situation with the next family using sheep at night to keep warm. Instead of an electric wool blanket, you have a self heating, still on the sheep blanket. Unfortunately, it's a great way to spread scabies.

People are very worried that they will say something wrong when the come to a clinic and be denied medicine. Therefore people in line ask questions to those walking out to find out what the magic words were to get their medicine. If you ask somebody if they have a headache, the answer will be yes. If you ask if their right ear hurts when they lift their left leg, the answer will be yes. We caution our doctors to only ask "either or" questions like, "when does your head hurt most?" We learned this lesson after a day where every single lady in a village had severe yeast infections and the doctors were very concerned. Unfortunately, I now know the color, smell, consistency and itchiness factor of the discharge of every woman in Santiago, Huehuetenango.