How Not To Grow Pumpkins

So I had a great idea to build my house a little faster. A couple years ago we saw pumpkins for sale at our grocery store. They were imported from the States and were only $3. Until we got to the register. There we found out that they were $3/pound. No matter how nice it would have been to have had a pumpkin pie for that Christmas, it wasn't worth $30.

I then began noticing how much empty space there is here in Petén. There are many spaces here that people buy instead of putting money in the bank, but since they don't have time to work the land it just grows up with weeds. There are also lots of people who have a very good knowledge of the land and of farming here.

So I decided to import my own Pumpkin seeds, have somebody else plant them on their land, truck them to the mountains, sell them to gringos for $10 instead of $30 and split the profits with my Petenero farmer. I bought 2500 seeds for around $60 (I wanted high quality, heirloom seeds), half Jack-O-Lantern and half Sugar Pie Sweet, and turned them over to an Agronomist here who has a big piece of property. I also gave him a lot of information (that I got online) about what pumpkins need to grow well. He told me not to worry and he was very excited about it. We also planned out what day to plant so that everything would be ready by the end of October. So far so good.

Everything was going great. We had 1400 mounds that had been planted and fertilized. Almost all of the plants had sprouted and we were looking good. Mynor was already spending his money...

Then in October we had several disasters. Mynor hadn't sprayed for bugs, instead talking about some new way where the poison is in the fertilizer so the bugs die when they eat the plant. All that gave us was a bunch of half-eaten plants with dead bugs everywhere that the ants came in to clean up for us. But that's ok because I'm pretty sure most of those drowned when we had two straight weeks of rain that turned most pastures here into temporary lakes, including my pumpkin patch. After that we were down to maybe 200 pumpkins still alive and well. Until somebody started stealing them. It was only 3-4 that were stolen and it could have been an animal, but it got Mynor scared of thieves. So instead of leaving the pumpkins to ripen on the vine and grow to the size of a basketball or better, he started cutting them as soon as he thought they were changing colors. The result was 150 tiny little pumpkins that after a week turned orange but didn't have any flavor. In his mind it is better to have 100% of your worthless pumpkins than have just 97% of quality pumpkins that you can do something with.

By the time I could convince him to just leave everything alone I was left with around 60 pumpkins to my name. It's a good deal, I think, to get 60 pumpkins for $60, but who would buy 60 pumpkins in the first place? We were able to give away a lot to friends, had fresh pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, a lot of frozen pumpkin waiting for Christmas and too many roasted seeds to eat. Oh and Mynor and I are still friends.

I still think this is a good idea and will try again next year. I think my biggest mistake this year was a lack of diversification. Next year I'm going to split my seeds up between 3 different people in 3 different parts of Petén.

Car Insurance in Guatemala

Because of the situation with José, I began again to look for car insurance here. I looked around when we first arrived, but the payments were more than a car payment on a new vehicle. I found that a reputable agency here (G&T) has recently lowered their rates to match their unreliable competition. For full coverage they still want $4,000/year to cover both vehicles (2004 Tacoma and 2007 Toyota Hiace Microbus), but their liability coverage seemed more than fair to me. They cover all expenses to others' property and persons, as well as any medical expenses of my passengers. They also pay families in instances of accidental death such as José's problem. Oh, and any and all lawyer fees.

The agent road a bus 45 minutes to my house so that he could take pictures of my vehicles and have me sign the paperwork. He also took this time to explain the policies to me. (Note: his name has been changed.)

Official policy:

In the event of an accident, I must immediately call the number for the main office in Guatemala City. They will verify my coverage and then send a report to the Petén office who will then send an agent to the scene of the accident.

Or:

I can call Carlos' personal cell phone anytime day or night and he will come since he already knows that I have coverage. This will save me at least an hour he says.

Official policy:

You must remain at the scene of the accident until the agent arrives.

Or:

There are some parts of Petén where it is too dangerous to stay and you must run for your life (such as the areas we are ALWAYS traveling to- Libertad/Sayaxché area). Carlos said to call him after I get away. He understands and can fill out the paperwork later.

Official policy:

Nobody under 21 is allowed to drive the vehicles to be covered and all drivers must have valid driver's licenses.

Or:

Don't say anything to the home office and Carlos can change who the driver was once he arrives.

Official policy:

G&T only pays if it is your fault. If you are not at fault, it is the other party's responsibility.

Or:

Don't say anything to the home office and Carlos will make sure everybody gets paid when he arrives.

Now obviously I'm not going to engage in insurance fraud of any kind, but I want to show you what life is like here in the "Wild West" of Central America. I am glad to know that I don't have to stay in a dangerous situation and that there is some common sense in that area.

Gone Native?

Some experiences we've had lately that make me think maybe we've crossed a line...

My wife told me today, "I cleaned the bathroom so you'll have to pee outside until after our guests get here."

We had left the house and were already on the road. Shelley said to me, "Oh no. I forgot my jewelry, now they're going to think I'm poor." We were heading someplace fancy and they treat you differently depending on your appearance.

Text message to my wife, "Just had six tortillas and a chicken wing. It was yummy."

Our one year old boys cried for days when my parents, their white, english speaking grandparents came to visit. They did not want to be held by them. After they left we visited our land to check on construction where they happily went to the new mason we have working there and smiled the whole time. They think they're two chapines.

We visited a new friends' house that they are fixing up before moving in. My wife's first thoughts before thinking about things like a kitchen or an air conditioner or even bars on the windows was, "How are they going to keep out the rats?"

It got down in the 70's the other night so while I was out and about I stopped into a Paca store and bought a $3 Goodwill reject Nautica jacket which barely beat out a jacket with an eagle on it and embroidered with the name, "Gene."

An innocent conversation that made a nice lady very sad

So my wife is a very resourceful person which causes me to be always on the lookout for the weird, cheap items that she can repurpose. Now with the boys that has gone into overdrive as she creates a home with warm memories and US traditions mixed with Guatemalan spice. Usually she tells me what she wants to do and as I am out paying bills and doing paperwork I keep my eyes out looking for the things she needs for that.

So for the boys' birthday she made a balloon wreath to hang on the door to announce to the neighbors that there was a birthday at our house. She has plans to make one for thanksgiving and Christmas and all seasons apparently, but the styrofoam circles we found in Guate are too small for our doors apparently. So Tuesday I was riding around in a tuk tuk while getting new tires put on my micro when I saw a lady hanging up decorated styrofoam wreaths in circle and heart shapes. I called my wife who told me to go by and buy some if they were bigger than what she had.

I stopped by later and asked about them.

Jimmy: How much are the wreaths?

Nice lady: These here are Q50.

J: Ok do you sell just the forms without any ribbon on them?

NL: No, everything I have is decorated already.

J: Ok, I think I want one heart and one circle.

NL: Ok, who are they for?

J: I'm buying them for my wife who will use them on special occasions for my twin boys like birthdays and Christmas.

NL: Twins? That's really difficult.

J: Yes, I think it is harder than one. Is there a discount for buying two?

NL: Yes, of course. It will only be Q90 for buying two.

Once I got into the micro it finally dawned on me what our conversation had really been about. Wreaths like these are used to adorn places where people have died or the graves of loved ones. We are getting close to Day of the Dead here and it is a month of funeral festivities right now if there is such a thing. After more than 4 years I have tuned out the crosses and wreaths and signs on the side of the road. I'm usually too concerned with the live things that may jump out in front of me at any time.

Because I wasn't thinking I missed a very culture specific part of the conversation and because of this I communicated that my twins were dead. Now go back and read our conversation from her perspective and you'll understand why I feel really bad about this. Now every wreath on the side of road waves at me as I drive by reminding me of my stupidity. Oh, and my wife won't use the wreaths now because they have been "tainted."

A Friend Goes to the Hospital

In September a friend of mine was drinking with his cousin and some other friends at the Texaco station in Melchor (border town with Belize). While they were sitting there, a blacked out car pulled up and opened fire on the group of them. One of the friends was killed, his cousin was hit in the arm and a 9mm bullet hit Luis in the neck, hitting below the chin on his left side and exiting on the right. He lost a lot of blood but before that could still walk. An ambulance "rushed" him the 1.5 hr trip to San Benito and their public hospital.

Luckily the bullet didn't hit anything important. He had surgery and afterwards could talk. He had difficulty swallowing but was told that was because of the swelling. I saw him the day after he was admitted. It was not my first time to the hospital, but I'd never been to the wards before.

I walked to the information desk even though it was 1pm and visiting hours aren't until 6-8pm. Luis told me on the phone, "They'll let you in. You're white." I told them I was there to visit Luis and what bed he was in. Not only did they let me go, the lady got up from her desk (with others in line behind me) and walked me past the police checkpoint and into his room in the Men's Surgery Wing where she pointed at him and left.

I say his room, but it actually belonged to six guys. They each had a worn out hospital bed with different sheets on them (the family is responsible for providing linens) and none of them had a gown on. They were all in various stages of dress with one guy in a long sleeved flannel shirt, jeans and his rubber boots. Luis was down to some barely on shorts. It was hot. There was no TV, no magazines, no air conditioning or even fans, not even any public health posters. Somebody had brought Luis a small desktop fan and his phone charger. He also had several bottles of water and a gatorade, but he couldn't swallow so it didn't do him much good.

I spoke with him for a few minutes sitting on the end of his bed (the chair for his guests was taken by the fan) but it was hard for him to talk because of the swelling. He took his bandages off and showed me the bullet holes before re-sticking them back on. It was actually hard to sit there because of the stink. I'm not sure whether it was him or one of the other 5 guys sweating and recovering from surgeries. I ribbed him about his choices in friends (the one who died was the target of this "cleanup") to which he replied, "Everybody has their problems."

This was on a Thursday and even though the doctor thought he would be ready to go on Saturday, he would have to wait until Monday when the doctor got back in town. Doctors take turns flying in from the city to work Monday-Friday in these free government run hospitals. On the weekends there is only one first year resident for the entire hospital. The highest rank in class gets to choose their location first and nobody wants to come to Petén so most hospitals here are run by your lower than average medical students on the weekends. They're not allowed to discharge very many people.

He was sent home Monday and has pretty much recovered. I told Shelley that I now have a list of 26 different emergency plans that rank above going to the general hospital. One of those is to let me slowly but mercifully bleed out (ok maybe not, but our Vet is truthfully #2 on the list.)

Even though I don't think there are very many privacy laws in Guatemala, my US conscience wouldn't let me take pictures. Instead, here's the scene of the shooting:

How to Cross the Border to Belize

My parents are here so last Thursday we went to Belize. The main purpose was to get our tourist visas renewed, but we also wanted to go to Spanish Lookout to do some shopping. If you're interested in crossing over, here's how it went:

Upon arriving at the border I had to pay Q10 to cross the bridge in our microbus. Then I drove up and past the Guatemalan immigration area and parked in their lot on the other side of the gate. Then, while the family waited in the bus I took all 6 passports up to the exit line. It was pretty straightforward, I got our exit stamps and then went to talk to the people about the vehicle. Our bus has Guatemalan plates so I showed my passport, US driver's license and registration card for the micro (tarjeta de circulación). I thought I would get some sort of form since everybody told me that I had to go talk to them, but they looked everything and then waved at me to leave. I'm not sure how I would prove if I came back a month from now that I had spoken to them, but I'm sure they know what they're doing.

So I returned to the micro after exchanging Q400 for 100 Belize dollars and drove through the fumigation area. There I had to pay $8 Belize (or $4 US.)

In front of you is the Belize immigration hall. Everybody has to leave the vehicle and walk down the hall with any bags you may have. We didn't take the cooler with drinks in it. It is again, pretty straightforward without any forms to fill out or anything to pay. They stamp your passport and write down your name. At customs they search your bags and after giving me another stamp for my vehicle asked me to go back and pull it up. They stopped me, asked me what was in the cooler, looked to make sure I was telling the truth and waved me on to pick up the family waiting in the sun.

From there you drive to the white building in front of you where you will buy your Belize vehicle insurance. I have no idea what it covers but for 24 hours on our micro they charged me $24 Belize.

After that everything was fine. Normally there is a checkpoint before leaving the border town where the police will check your vehicle papers and remind you that you're not in Guatemala any more and have to buckle your seat belts, but there wasn't one that day.

We normally eat at a Mennonite restaurant in Spanish Lookout called Golden Corral (hilarious I know...not part of the chain) but because they are closed in the afternoons (I think 2-5pm) we stopped at the San Ignacio Resort Hotel to eat at the Running W Steakhouse. It was fantastic and will become a regular stop for us.

We returned to the border at 5pm. This is where it gets tricky because you don't want to have too many Belize dollars on the other side because they rip you off in the exchange rate going back, but you have to pay an exit tax. They only accept Belize dollars (not US or Guatemalan Quetzales.) The tax is $30 Belize/person (not including children but I'm not sure what the cutoff is). Plus there is another tax posted at $7.50 Belize. The problem is that I've only been charged the $7.50 tax once in 4-5 times doing this. So do you take the chance that you won't have to pay or do you go ahead and exchange to have your bases covered? I covered my bases since having an extra $30 Belize (for the 4 adults) won't kill me since I'll be back in 3 months.

They didn't end up charging me after all.

After paying this tax and getting your receipt you take your passports to the immigration table to get your exit stamp.

They then sent me to the Entrance side of the hall to talk to Customs about getting my passport note signed. It was then that I could go get the vehicle and pick up my family for the drive again through fumigation (this time Q40, more than what Belize charges you). In Guatemala, everybody waited in the micro while I took the passports again but this time to the Entrance side where I quickly received my stamps as well as an offer by the nice immigration official to show me around El Salvador if I would ever like to see the coast there. He lives close to that border. Nothing to pay in Guatemala, nothing to do with the vehicle since it has plates, and nobody checked to see if I had purchased anything.

Everything on that border is very relaxed and the people are very willing to give direction if you're not sure what to do. We had a good day but the boys were very happy to get home after driving around so much. Plus, we have another 90 days in Guatemala and my parents got some extra stamps on their passports.

How to Destroy a Good Work

Some Kekchi friends of ours came over to the house today. We had a lot to talk about, but eventually the subject of the Kekchi Baptist Association of Petén came up. I don't have all the information in order to give you a decent description, but this is basically a group of churches in Petén that broke off of the larger Southern Baptist Kekchi group in Cobán. It makes sense because there were a large number of churches and they are pretty far from Cobán. Plus, Petén is basically it's own country separate from the rest of Guatemala in many ways.

So because there is some unrest in the association that the pastors are trying to work through, one of our friends today asked about the possibility of me starting a separate Association. I told him of course that that is ridiculous. I know it is human nature to start something competing as soon as you meet resistance, but that would be one of the worst things to happen. First of all, at least now the Kekchi Baptists have a unified front. They support missionaries (although part of the discussion is how they do that). They have a central place for training and when somebody needs support, they have a large network from which to draw that support.

So why would you ever want to break that up? Of course it appears to the ego that I would be leading my own association of X number of churches and I could be big and bad and the boss. But what would I accomplish long-term? I would be creating a division among like-minded churches. It would cripple the other association at least in the short-term from accomplishing it's goals. It would immediately alienate me from over half of the existing churches from whom I hope to pull students for ministry at our Pastor's Institute. And last but not least it would immediately provide fodder for sermon's aimed at why we are better or they are lesser Christians because of our/their affiliation.

I've been asked a lot about what I would deem success as a missionary. Let me tell you what I would call failure. I will pack it up and leave Petén the day I cause there to be a second Baptist church started in any village in Petén. There's just too many other important things to do.