An innocent conversation that made a nice lady very sad

So my wife is a very resourceful person which causes me to be always on the lookout for the weird, cheap items that she can repurpose. Now with the boys that has gone into overdrive as she creates a home with warm memories and US traditions mixed with Guatemalan spice. Usually she tells me what she wants to do and as I am out paying bills and doing paperwork I keep my eyes out looking for the things she needs for that.

So for the boys' birthday she made a balloon wreath to hang on the door to announce to the neighbors that there was a birthday at our house. She has plans to make one for thanksgiving and Christmas and all seasons apparently, but the styrofoam circles we found in Guate are too small for our doors apparently. So Tuesday I was riding around in a tuk tuk while getting new tires put on my micro when I saw a lady hanging up decorated styrofoam wreaths in circle and heart shapes. I called my wife who told me to go by and buy some if they were bigger than what she had.

I stopped by later and asked about them.

Jimmy: How much are the wreaths?

Nice lady: These here are Q50.

J: Ok do you sell just the forms without any ribbon on them?

NL: No, everything I have is decorated already.

J: Ok, I think I want one heart and one circle.

NL: Ok, who are they for?

J: I'm buying them for my wife who will use them on special occasions for my twin boys like birthdays and Christmas.

NL: Twins? That's really difficult.

J: Yes, I think it is harder than one. Is there a discount for buying two?

NL: Yes, of course. It will only be Q90 for buying two.

Once I got into the micro it finally dawned on me what our conversation had really been about. Wreaths like these are used to adorn places where people have died or the graves of loved ones. We are getting close to Day of the Dead here and it is a month of funeral festivities right now if there is such a thing. After more than 4 years I have tuned out the crosses and wreaths and signs on the side of the road. I'm usually too concerned with the live things that may jump out in front of me at any time.

Because I wasn't thinking I missed a very culture specific part of the conversation and because of this I communicated that my twins were dead. Now go back and read our conversation from her perspective and you'll understand why I feel really bad about this. Now every wreath on the side of road waves at me as I drive by reminding me of my stupidity. Oh, and my wife won't use the wreaths now because they have been "tainted."

So I Wanted to Buy Some Gravel

I have been running around for the last week buying materials for our wall. Construction started Monday. Last week I bought 2500 blocks, 32 cubic meters of sand, 1000 pounds of 3/8 in rebar, 200 pounds of 1/4 in. rebar, 2 shovels, one wheelbarrow, and one pickax.

I still need boards for scaffolding and forms, gravel, rocks, and bags of cement. The cement I can order as I need it so that I don't have to worry about moisture. There are several gravel pits around San Francisco, but you can pay as much for delivery as the actual gravel. On the way to Santa Rita basically across the street from our land there is a large quarry. I've asked about it before, but everybody told me that it was a private business and that they didn't sell their gravel. Just recently they put up a sign though that said "gravel for sale."

Saturday I decided to try and go by to see if they could bring me a dump truck full. While delivering more per load, it also keeps me from paying my workers to spend half a day unloading a truck of gravel when they could be digging a trench. When I got there with Lico, my mason, I found out they were closed, but I talked to the guard anyway. Here's our conversation:

Jimmy: Hey, is the boss around?

Guard: No, he's gone and won't be back until Monday.

J: Ok, I'll come back Monday then.

G: What do you need?

J: To buy some gravel.

G:Well we don't do that anymore. We're all out of gravel and we don't have enough for our own business. You have to go to San Benito (only 15 minutes away, but a lot more money to have them deliver.)

J: Ok, I just thought since the sign was new, you'd have gravel. Suddenly notices a price sheet nailed to the wall. Is it ok if I check out the price sheet so that I know what's fair to pay in San Benito?

G: Sure, how much do you need?

J: About 30 cubic meters.

G:Wow, that's a lot. We don't have that much.

J:Ok

G: Wait a second, let me call the boss over here to talk to you. Walks 10 feet up a little hill, whistles and waves his arm. Makes a grunting noise and walks off behind a mountain of gravel. After 10 minutes he comes back.

G: Fijese, you have to go to San Benito.

J: Ok.

G: We can only sell small amounts.

Lico: How much can you sell if we need just a little at a time.

G: 3 meters or more.

L: 3 or less?

G: 3 or more.

J: So, at least 3, but up to how much?

G: Oh, bunches. See that big mountain back there covered up with tarp? That's all gravel.

J: So could I have 30 meters?

G: Oh no, you have to go to San Benito. That's too much.

J: So could I order 3 meters?

G: No, we don't have enough.

J: Ok, I'm going to San Benito.

What made me feel better was that Lico thought the conversation was just as crazy as I did. If he had thought it made sense I would have been a little worried.

Chicken Truck

While most things about our lives are hectic and most days we wake up not knowing what will happen, there are certain things that are set in stone. It does not take people here long to figure out our schedule (which is why our house was broken into a few years ago.) This inevitably leads to people asking us for rides. Usually we can accommodate people by packing them in the back of the truck or filling in empty spots in the micro.

So Tuesday night Mateo called me to see if his mom and sisters could ride with us to Santa Rita. They were getting out in the town before. I said that was fine. Five minutes later he called back to see if they could take along some chickens for his aunt. I told him I didn't mind taking chickens, but that they were not allowed inside the truck. No problem in the back (people put them in boxes) but absolutely no chickens inside the truck.

I stopped on the side of the road to pick them up and noticed the cardboard boxes shaking around as they loaded them in the back. The girls got in the back to make sure they didn't fly out. Not 2 minutes down the road Mateo's mom pulled something out of her shirt.

This is not uncommon as many women use their bras as extra pockets. They store there important documents, money, cell phone... whatever they don't want to lose.

It was then I heard the chirping and had to look over. I said, "Mateo! That is a chicken!" He apologized while explaining that it had just hatched and they didn't want it to die outside in the wind.

Jimmy Who?

A year ago we had the transmission rebuilt for our Blazer. I had to ride a tow truck 8 hours to Guate to drop it off, then catch a flight home, then Shelley and I flew back 10 days later to pick it up. The mechanic's name was Hugo and he has his own shop. I found him through a knowledgeable Guatemalan friend here in Petén who had had USA made vehicles worked on by this guy.

Hugo met me on the side of the road to guide us to his shop and I spent over $1,000 on Blazer repairs. We talked quite often and he assured me that he knew what he was doing and that everything was on time. I was actually happy for the first time with a mechanic here. The best part was his 2 year guarantee on the transmission.

I am used to people remembering me. There aren't very many Gringos from Petén, and especially if I spend a lot of money somewhere, people remember who I am. So yesterday I called up Hugo to see if he could help a friend with his Mercedes. I was expecting a cheery greeting but instead the guy drew a blank. I explained further, "You worked on my transmission a year ago...I'm the gringo from Petén who you met in the tow truck..." He still acted dumbfounded. Then he said, "I don't work on transmissions." I said, "Yes you do. I have a receipt here with your name on it and your address and even a guarantee for 2 years." "No, you must be mistaken. You have to have special tools to work on an automatic transmission and I don't have those," he replied.

It was then that I understood that he thought I was calling about the guarantee. I explained, "I just need a phone number for somebody who can work on a Mercedes transmission. My transmission is fine."

"Oh, well yeah I have a phone number and address right here. How's everything going in Petén? Do you still have the Blazer? ...well if you need anything give me a call..."

At least I got the information I wanted. Not sure that I would trust it. Sorry Mark.

Bible Study Feedback

Sometimes during the Bible Study, when asking questions, I get some interesting answers to questions. At this point I am happy that they are finally opening up and are confident to talk. Here's a snippet from the most recent adult Bible Study. I am teaching the Ten Commandments (Old Testament and New Testament correlation) and was showing pictures of a chameleon with the projector. I had several examples of chameleon's camouflaged in their surroundings and was scrolling through during this conversation:

Jimmy: Do you know what this is?

Adult 1: It's a lizard, I mean a scorpion.

(Everyone laughs)

A2: It's a lizard.

J: Yes, but what type of Lizard?

A3: There's only one type of lizard.

J: No, there are lots of lizards but I don't know their names. Big lizards are different from small lizards.

A4: No, big or small they are still lizards.

J: I mean there is a difference between that lizard on the wall there and a crocodile.

A2: Yes, because a crocodile is a crocodile and a lizard is a lizard. A crocodile isn't a lizard.

(all adults nodding in agreement that the Gringo knows nothing of lizards)

J: Ok fine, then this isn't a lizard, it's a chameleon.

A1: It looks like a lizard.

J: It's not a lizard it's a chameleon. (Everybody repeats "chameleon") It can change color to blend into it's surrounding.

A3: (Realizing there's a correlation between the lesson and these pictures and looking at the board with the list of sins on it) Is it a sin to kill the chameleon?

J: No, you can kill it.

A2: Is it a sin to eat the Chameleon?

J: No you can eat it...

A1: (cutting off Jimmy mid sentence) What does it taste like?

J: I don't know. Probably like chicken.

A2: But you can eat it?

J: Yes. It's not a sin to eat the Chameleon, it's a sin to BE a Chameleon. You can't change who you are based on who you are around.

20 minutes later after discussing many more profound things I asked if there were any questions or comments. Adult 4 responded, "So it's not ok to be a Chameleon, but if you can find it hiding on a leaf you can eat it?"

My apologies to the soon to be dwindling population of lizards that happen to look like chameleons but aren't that good at hiding.

On a side note, this was our highest attended night for the adult and teen Bible study that was not showing a movie. We were missing some regulars, but had 4 new teenagers that I have never seen before who arrived on time.