Seven Cars for a House

A pastor we worked with in Xela wanted to show me his house one day. I didn't really understand because he lived in housing provided by a missionary, but I went anyway. After arriving I realized that construction had just finished on a rental property. I am a big fan of investing in real estate, and had nothing but praise for him and his decision to think about his future.

He answered the question so I didn't have to ask it. How did he get the money? He explained:

"In the past 10 years I have been given 7 cars by pastors in the States. They come down here on a trip and see that I don't have a car, so they buy one while they're here and give it to me. I drive it for a little while, but after not too much time I sell it. Then the next time a different pastor comes down, he does the same thing and buys me a car. The same scenario has repeated itself, and I have traded those seven cars for this house."

This is, obviously, blatant exploitation of the generosity of Gringos. I don't know whether to blame the pastor for lack of due diligence, the missionary who started the church (and was still paying the pastor's salary) for not giving the pastor the complete picture, or just blame the Guatemalan for everything.

Cutting some Corn

My friend Quincho planted his first 50mx50m plot of corn ("milpa" is when it is still on the stalk.) He was really proud of it and said that any day now the corn would be ready to cut "elotes" (corn on the cob). It would be a few more weeks before it would be ready for the big harvest that they could dry out and save to make tortilla dough. I told him that when it was ready, to let me know and I would go cut elotes with him and then my wife could make it for us for lunch.

I got the call and we went in the pickup. It was only about a 30 minute drive on a 4x4 only road. Quincho, Mateo (14 yrs old.) and a big Gringo armed with machetes and a sack. The showed me how to tell which plants were ready and where to slice the plant. Also, how to cut the corn down with the machete. I see now why there are so many thumb injuries (we hear every week about somebody else who almost cut their thumb off). The white and even yellow corn here is not the same as the States. It is tougher, and not very sweet, but it tastes good with salt and neither Quincho nor Mateo had ever had corn on the cob with butter on it. Apparently they liked it. I ate 2. Quincho ate 6 (after a hamburger).

One thing I didn't expect to see: In Guatemala you have to protect your corn from parrots instead of crows. Instead of making a scarecrow (or even a scareparrot) the man next to Quincho killed a pisote (coati mundi) and hung it on a stick. That attracted vultures, whose presence keeps parrots away. I don't know anything about the health effects of rotting carcass on corn, but we'll see if that guy dies.

Every Missionary's Best Friend

My mom wanted us to get a shop vac soon after arriving in Guatemala. They aren't very easy to find and it has been a running joke for the past three years. Finally she bought us one from the Sears in Guate. It is a 5 hp, 12 gallon craftsman. Since taking it out of the box 10 days ago, we have had something to use it for every day.

The first day I filled it up twice with sawdust from the cribs I made here so that we could use that workshop room as a storage room. We never would have been able to clean out that dust without it.

The second day, after putting in new pipes to move our washing machine (our previous laundry room is now the nursery), I turned on the water pump forgetting about the pipe I cut in the nursery. I was strutting around, very proud of myself for not having any leaks and verifying that the new drain was working when I heard water running and it came pouring out of that room. I grabbed a broom to start sweeping it out the front door (we've done this many, many times in the past 3 years) when I remembered my WET/dry vac. In just a few minutes I had everything cleaned up with the only wet casualties being a few flip flops and a belt.

I could go on about cleaning up concrete dust in the shower after fixing a pipe there, or concrete dust after hanging some new curtains my wife just sewed, or picking up flaking paint from walls that got too humid, but the point is that this appliance will probably become a permanent fixture in our hallway... always ready to go where needed. Well, probably not, but I'm really happy to have it, and I think everybody should have one.

The Unexpected Holiday

Here there is at least one holiday every month. The trick is knowing when it is. Also, the days are pretty randomly put together. Of course you know about the main ones like Christmas Eve, New Year's, and Banker's Day... oh, you don't know about Banker's Day, neither did we.

Last month I went to the city to get new tires. I made the trip on a bad tire that I had no confidence in. I arrived to find the city (Santa Elena) full of Army troops and every business was closed. You would have thought there was some sort of coup, but it turns out they were celebrating Army Day. It was a Tuesday, and Army Day was not supposed to be scheduled until Friday, but Santa Elena decided to celebrate on Tuesday. So I returned on Wednesday to find out that it was Banker's Day. On Banker's Day, everybody is closed except the Bank, which is open for just a half day.

How do you make money when you take off for any number of reasons and just shut down your business? You don't, which is another reason why people here are poor. Also, how does somebody not from your town know about the holidays without paying money in gas or transportation? There is no official Guatemalan calendar that announces every holiday in every town.

Another time I needed to get some truck paperwork done. Being short on cash I decided to take a bus, sleep on the way, and take a bus back that same day. I called an acquaintance in Guate the day before I left to let him know I was coming. He had some work to do in Guate, so we couldn't get together. That night I left on the bus at 10:00pm and arrived in Guate at 7:00am. Once I arrived I discovered there was a Guate City only holiday and nobody was working that day. So I had to pay for a hotel to come back the next day. I called my acquaintance (notice I didn't say friend) and asked him about the holiday. He replied, "Oh yeah, I thought about that after you called, but guessed you'd just figure it out when you got here." Sometimes Gringos are stupid too. :)

The US embassy is even worse. They work Monday through Thursday and a half day on Friday. However, they also take off all US holidays, Guatemalan National Holidays, and Guatemala City Holidays.

A Culture of Selfishness

Ok, this might be a touchy subject, but once I understood it, I finally had an answer to the WHY question when we get frustrated with things here.

The culture here is selfish. People grow up and live their lives to look out for numero uno. It explains so much. This is so vastly different from the US foundation of Christian values, namely "Love your neighbor as yourself." I'm not exactly sure how the Guatemalans missed it. Maybe some of it is survival instinct.

Selfishness is why the buses rush and put everybody else either behind, or in danger. The driver in his mind is more important than you. For the same reason people skip ahead at stop lights or will blatantly skip you in line at the store.

Selfishness is what causes somebody to get a dog that they can't feed, and then let it run in the street because it would be too much trouble to keep penned up.

Selfishness is why people will borrow money from the Gringo with no intention of paying it back. It is why they will steal from the Gringo with no feelings of remorse.

Selfishness is why a father would rather get drunk than buy his kids shoes or school supplies.

Selfishness is what will keep Guatemala poor and a third world country. If everybody is only working for themselves, there can't be real teamwork, or helping each other move forward.

Selfishness is what happens when God is not in the picture. God is love, and LOVE is what motivates a person to put their own needs/wants aside and do something for somebody else without expectations of reciprocation.

Guate Wreck

Seen on road to Guate from Petén. Luckily I got there in time...so as not to be delayed by cops directing traffic.

Pinchazo Pt. 2

I had another tire problem not too long ago. While driving around 70 mph, I lost a band on my left front tire. Upon inspection I saw that the metal tire guard had been bent by a mechanic and caught the tire. Thankfully, this happened within 100 yards of a Pinchazo.

The man was working with his two sons and there happened to be two other men there that I knew. I was happy to see that the two boys were working right alongside of their father. The older one was in charge of the jack.

He did not have any tires the same size as what I needed (and my spare was already one of my tires.) He sold me a used tire to use that was much smaller, but fit the rim. It didn't seal right (as the only used tires he gets are ones he takes off of other people's vehicles or buys from people who don't want them any more), so he got some plastic wrap and made a seal. Here is his younger son wrapping it up.

It became a job that everybody pitched in for to get it to seal right and inflate. The tire lasted me long enough to drive home (15 minutes) and back to the city (45 minutes) to buy real tires. Total cost: Q250. Cost of two brand new GoodYear A/T tires in the city: Q3000.