Missionary How To: Get Kicked out of a Village

So we've been kicked out of New Horizon before, but that was a long time ago so I'll just write about how we got kicked out this time. For those of you who know the story, here's a refresher so that I can give you the juicy new details in a following post.

So you should know that New Horizon is a community of ex-guerrillas (about 500 people) that stated as one of their by-laws that no churches (besides the token Catholic Church) were allowed to exist within the community. When we arrived and inquired about attendance at the Catholic Church we were told that the priest came to the village every three weeks and 4-5 people attended. We were granted permission by the town council (and the next one after that) to hold Bible Studies in the town. Since that time a group of people in the village have vehemently fought to make us leave. There have been many lies spread, but the only time somebody would talk to me directly and tell me they wanted me to leave was when they were so drunk they could barely stand up.

Last September I came back to Petén after being gone a month to check on our house, dogs, etc. I needed to make sure that the system we had set up was working and could continue for an additional four months. My first day back I went to visit some people in New Horizon. As I was leaving I stopped at the store to say hello to the mayor. She pulled me aside to talk to me about Quincho, the guy staying at and guarding our house.

Quincho was accused of stealing a cell phone from a certain group of people from our town 10 minutes from New Horizon. In Guatemala, accused means absolutely guilty no matter what the facts are and deserving of death. Because of this, that group of people had come into the village several times looking for him to kill him. Over a cell phone. Yeah.

So the mayor was concerned that somebody innocent would be standing next to Quincho when this drive-by happened and would also get killed or injured. They were having a meeting the next day to inform the town so that people would know not to stand around Quincho. She assured me that I was not being discussed in the meeting (therefore didn't need to come) and they would not be kicking Quincho out, just giving out the information.

I told Beatrice (the mayor) that I thought I could find the people from whom the cell phone was stolen and work something out, and then Quincho would pay me back for the cell phone from what he was earning. I told her my belief that people should be held responsible for their actions (something these guerrillas never have been), but that the most important thing right now was to stop anybody from getting killed. She thought that was a good idea and thanked me.

So instead of spending the next day varnishing my cribs or fixing things around the house, I went in search of the people. I can't give you any more details than this to protect the innocent (mainly me) but everything was worked out. I arrived in New Horizon to give them the news and realized the meeting had just ended. I talked to several people there including the mayor and the president of the town council to let them know that nobody was going to die over this anymore and everybody was very nice.

It was not until later that I learned (because these hardened ex-guerrillas suddenly become tongue-tied chickens when the white fat gringo shows up) that not only had they kicked Quincho out, we were also prohibited from continuing our activities in the village (mainly Bible Studies.) The mayor accused me of treating Quincho with kindness and trying to cover up his crimes. This is obviously against the morals of the community (as stated in the letter I received) and therefore they had no choice but to ask us to leave.

I hope you can see the absurdity in all of this. Since we have been back I have learned that the rumors have degraded even further. Now the story is that I was the real mastermind behind the cell phone caper and an accomplice in the crime. From the States. Yeah.

Garden Update

About a week ago we ate our first zucchini from the garden and it was delicious! Then all of them seemed to stop growing. After a rather violent storm, several were knocked off the vine and that is when I noticed that all of them were infested with worms. I removed about 12, sprayed all of my plants and am now waiting.

Here are some of the new, wormless zukes growing. I have three different varieties growing, hence the difference in color between the top picture and this one:

Other things are growing as well. Here is my first pumpkin:
And my first green beans. These are very close to being ready to harvest.

And finally my first tomato. Only one plant has started flowering. For some reason it is a week ahead of the other three plants. Now if I can just keep the bugs away...

Update from this morning. Pics of an okra flower and first watermelon growing.

To Kill A MockingRat

Ok, maybe more than one. Apparently while we were gone a rat family decided to move in. At first we thought they were just regular field mice that we deal with every once in a while, but then we killed the first one and realized why it kept knocking things off of our shelves. It took a while to find a suitable bait. At first we were just fattening it up with things like cheese, apples and peanut butter. I think it was carefully setting off the trap, eating the yummy goodies we had left for it, and then resetting the trap hoping I would catch my fingers in it. This thing was huge. It finally met its match with an almond hershey's kiss.

Thinking we had the rat thing licked we settled into a complacent mindset. My wife walked without fear into the kitchen at night, even doing work with her back to the counters, enjoying a rat-less life. Then the power went off. Then we walked into the kitchen with our flashlights only to be greeted by another equally huge rodent. At least this time we knew how to kill it and it was swiftly dispatched of.

Now another rat lurks. It has been more quiet. There haven't been as many "traces" left around, although they are becoming more numerous. The big thing was that this one tore up one of my wife's curtains that hide the areas under our counters since Guatemalans don't believe in/can't afford cabinets and cupboards. So now I am sitting up and waiting. Waiting for that joyous snap that lets you know another one has bit the dust. It is very similar to the sound of the toaster letting you know your PopTarts are ready.

So on that note, anybody know how to keep rats from coming back? We don't use poison because of the dogs (who have apparently signed some sort of peace agreement with the giant rodents.) We've closed up all the places we think they come in, but our doors have to stay open during the day. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Would you try this in the States?

I had to move 11 tables 45 minutes away. To make things secure we used bailing wire to tie everything together and down. Everything got there fine with only minor injuries to the gringo with big hands that kept catching the ends of the wire. In Guatemala this is one of the tamest things you'll see people moving in the back of pickup trucks.

Guate Health Care

Right before we came back to Guatemala I noticed a spot on my arm that didn't look right. My mother, of course, wanted me to go the doctor right away, but without the insurance to cover it I decided to wait until I got back to Guatemala. I asked for a recommendation for a good Dermatologist in Guate from a missionary group we are a part of, and received many recommendations. I ultimately chose Dr. Carlos David only because three different people had recommended him. I have a family history of Melanoma and Basal Cell Carcinoma, so I didn't want to take anything too lightly.

I called with three days' notice and had no problem booking the appointment. Dr. David was very thorough and took careful notes on family history and all other information. He was also concerned about the spot and recommended that it be excised and sent to a lab for Melanoma testing. He usually does surgeries in the mornings, but since I was leaving the next morning for Petén, he asked me to wait 20 minutes while he prepared his room for operating.

The whole procedure was painless and actually fun to watch. He cut very deeply and stitched it back up with 7 stitches. The entire time spent in his office was about 2 hours, and that included consultation, surgery, and payment. The total bill for this was $300, including the lab testing. This happened on a Thursday, and he called me late Monday afternoon with the results that everything came back normal.

I love Guatemala City medical care, especially for non-emergencies like this. Fast and Cheap.

Nobody Respects the Micro

I guess I brought it on myself. After driving here a while you start to prioritize other vehicles on the road. If there is a motorcycle in front of you and another one coming towards you, it's ok to drive in the center of them both to pass. They will instinctively know to get over. If there is a tuk tuk, bus, or micro, you can cut them off to get in front of them because they are going to be slower than you and stop soon anyways.

I knew I did this, but I guess I didn't think anybody else did. Seriously, it stinks being behind a micro because they will stop without warning to either drop somebody off or pick somebody up. This leads to you slamming on your brakes or having to whip around them quickly, for which you get in trouble with your passengers. Also, you feel a little bit secure cutting them off because they are "professional" drivers, and you assume that they have a degree of defensive driving ability.

Now I am the micro driver. Nobody looks to see that it is a Gringo driving. Nobody cares whether or not I will be stopping suddenly or often. All they see is a large Toyota that is not as important or in as much of a hurry as they are. This makes driving much more precarious, and it is something I definitely have to watch out for. And I thought driving was dangerous before...

Buying Land

We have been looking for land ever since coming to Petén in 2007. There are a lot of things to think about, and after almost 3 years of being here we think we know what we want. We looked at a lot of different towns here, and have decided that the best place to live the rest of our lives and raise our kids will be in San Francisco (Petén, not CA). It is 15 minutes from Santa Elena and the airport, and at a crossroad between three roads that take us to everywhere else. It is also a town not owned by certain people of ill-repute (names and details withheld to protect the innocent) and where the professionals (doctors, lawyers, teacher, engineers) who work in Santa Elena, moved to to get away from the gangs and violence. Sounds perfect right? That's what we think.

We found a nice property owned by an influential family in town. He bought a large section of land so that his brothers and sister could all build their houses together. Because of that, there is a private road that cuts through the property. The neat thing is that these other families are pretty young and have new borns as well, so our kids will be able to grow up together. The land right now is a corn field and we are buying 2000 square meters (1/2 acre) for Q50,000 ($6,250).

To get the paperwork done right we have our lawyer (a very well known lawyer) taking care of everything. To get the initial contract and send in the paperwork to get a title in our name cost us Q400 ($50). Once that is taken care of we will pay the other half of the money and the land will be deeded to us. This should be done in the next week or so.

The land is in the shape of a trapezoid with 35 meters across the front and 55 meters across the back. We have met with an architect who will draw up our house plans, give us a 3-D rendering, list of building supplies, expected cost, etc. for Q5,000 ($625), which we thought sounded very reasonable.

I'll keep you posted as things progress. I don't know what you'll be able to tell from the photos, but here's a couple anyway. In this picture the land boundary is from the dog (pretty specific right?) to the fence on the other side.

Here we are standing in the middle. The back boundary is actually 5m past the papaya trees on the right. Those are tomato and jalapeño plants. The owner is an agronomist and really likes growing things. Look at how nice the dirt looks!