Check Your Bread

About a year after we got here they built a big Maxi Bodega grocery store. It changed everything for us. Instead of going to four different stores to find out Petén was out of cheese or chicken and would be for a month, we could now buy Kraft Singles and refrigerated peaches from California. However, it is not perfect and sometimes you find this:

How To Get Fired By a Gringo

Step One: Buy land (oh how simple that looks typed out here...)

Step Two: Hire Architect

Step Three: Fire Architect for thinking that you are stupid

After his initial self-imposed deadline of a week to a week and a half, Mr. Andrés took over a month to finally get us our plans. And these weren't the 3-D plans like we were promised. He was also short two bedrooms and a bathroom from what we had asked for. He had also made it way too expensive. He had also thrown out everything we had given him and gone his own direction.

So we fixed some things on his plan on Sunday to which he replied that by Tuesday morning we would have the finished plans, including 3-D.

I emailed him Thursday morning asking if he was ok. Thursday night we got a 3-D view of the front of what he wants our house to look like (not even close to what we asked for) and the plans. In his plans there is a very nice view of the pool from our walk in closet window, but not from anywhere else. FYI, these plans are for somebody much richer and dumber than we are. Friday morning he sent me an estimated cost for the wall around our property. This should have been very easy for him and was also over a month late.

All I really wanted was a materials list. That's what I had told him many times. I have my own construction workers and I have contacts to buy materials. I just wanted to know so that I could set up a budget and a timeline and get started.

Instead of sending me a materials list, he sent me a budget which included $800 for him to supervise the wall, $11,000 in materials and $6000 in salaries. For the same price I could pay my workers for 32 weeks and my wall better not take that long. One of the things he supposedly brought to the table was cheaper materials through his wholesalers. My own estimate based upon prices I can get locally (who have everything trucked in for them) comes in around $8,000 including salaries for three months.

Everything combined led me to the unfortunate for him conversation about why we no longer require his services. It had to be done gracefully because Guatemalan men are as sensitive as girls (it doesn't help if you mention that comparison) and because he is a friend of a friend...and he knows where we're going to live.

Aaron's Found a Friend in Jesus

When the team was here I took a few of them by to meet Aaron. You've seen him before on the blog. He is a very talented man who has done amazing things in spite of the hard situation he was born into. His wife died 26 years ago. During the war he met a man who played the violin and taught Aaron some songs. Aaron then set about making his own violin. He used guitar strings for the violin and made a bow using a stick and a plant he stripped down and dried out. Below you can see a video of his second violin that is more refined than his first one. He also makes his own marimbas and has recently fixed the guitar shown below. He made the top to look like his violin and has started teaching himself how to play. He tunes everything by ear. Part of what makes it so amazing in addition to his musical talents despite a severe lack of education, is that he does all of this with very rudimentary tools. He says that he just has a lot of patience. Now that we've taught him about Jesus, my next step is to replace his Vikings shirt with a green one. Maybe a hat of cheese...

If you're internet is faster than ours, you can enjoy the video.

Animals of Tikal

We always see certain animals in Tikal, but this latest time took the cake. The best part was that I had my new telephoto lens and have been looking forward to Tikal ever since I got it. Here's some snapshots. The only animal we saw that I didn't get a picture of was the grey fox.

This is apparently Montezuma's Oriole (not to be confused with his famous "Revenge") and they have large bag nests all over Tikal. They look like regular black birds until they start flying and then you can see their really bright tail feathers.
Here's one flying in front of Temple I.
The pisote (coati mundi) is my favorite Petén animal. Maybe because we had a wild one living in our backyard in the first house we had here, or maybe because they are just so cute. There were so many of them this time that I accused a worker of having bought and imported Pisotes so that tourists would have something to look at, and my accusation was neither confirmed nor denied.

We have never been to Tikal and not seen spider monkeys.
However this was the first time we've seen them in the same trees with pisotes.

My Keens finally fell apart as we were leaving. I guess 12 time to Tikal is all they can take. The first 4 times through I hired a guide for our groups, but then I realized that each one told different stories. I then decided to pick my favorite ones and lead the groups myself. When it comes to tour guides, as in life, the more they talk the less they know.

Guard Pig

Yesterday, the Mission Group from the States left. That means I have 5 minutes free so that I can get back to blogging. At least I have a lot to talk about and plenty of pictures.

When going house to house last week I had one of my boys on one side of the village while my wife took one to the other side. At one Kekchi house, I was asked to come back further into the group of houses to show the little fat white kid to the old lady in charge. At the entrance to the house was this big fella sitting belly deep in the mud. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite," they called out to me...

Chicken Truck

While most things about our lives are hectic and most days we wake up not knowing what will happen, there are certain things that are set in stone. It does not take people here long to figure out our schedule (which is why our house was broken into a few years ago.) This inevitably leads to people asking us for rides. Usually we can accommodate people by packing them in the back of the truck or filling in empty spots in the micro.

So Tuesday night Mateo called me to see if his mom and sisters could ride with us to Santa Rita. They were getting out in the town before. I said that was fine. Five minutes later he called back to see if they could take along some chickens for his aunt. I told him I didn't mind taking chickens, but that they were not allowed inside the truck. No problem in the back (people put them in boxes) but absolutely no chickens inside the truck.

I stopped on the side of the road to pick them up and noticed the cardboard boxes shaking around as they loaded them in the back. The girls got in the back to make sure they didn't fly out. Not 2 minutes down the road Mateo's mom pulled something out of her shirt.

This is not uncommon as many women use their bras as extra pockets. They store there important documents, money, cell phone... whatever they don't want to lose.

It was then I heard the chirping and had to look over. I said, "Mateo! That is a chicken!" He apologized while explaining that it had just hatched and they didn't want it to die outside in the wind.

Soap Box

So I mentioned it before, that one of my pet peeves is people talking about Missions as if it is a horrible thing that God is calling you to. Some even give the idea that if you are a missionary you will spend the rest of your sure-to-be-short life suffering and miserable. Then you add to this people who think that they are miserable, so they must be called to be a missionary and are just saying, "No." These two things culminate in miserable people being guilted into going to a foreign country only to turn the people they meet into miserable people for having known them.

I won't even get started on people who have the same thoughts about the Christian life...

God doesn't want us to be miserable. Yes, bad things are going to happen to us. Yes, life is relatively more dangerous living in a foreign country. Yes, Jesus promises that people will revile and persecute us for following Him. All of those things are true.

The same thing happened to Paul and Silas. And they were singing in the jail. James said to "count it all joy." Jesus said to "rejoice and be exceeding glad". Just because bad things happen doesn't mean you have to be sad and mopey.

I remember the youth group days when the sadder you were when singing, the more spiritual you were. Words like "broken" were the fad. Go ahead and be sad if you want to, but I'm not going to let it rub off on me.

I believe God wants us to get the most out of this life as possible. That's why He doesn't want us getting drunk. Life is much better when you can remember it. That's why He doesn't want us sleeping around. You can't beat a life long relationship built on trust and with the absence of fear.

In my personal example. Being a missionary is SO much more exciting than any other "job" I could have. I feel that I have a huge advantage over those of you sitting in the States working 8-5, M-F. Did you know that my "job" requires that I have a 4WD truck and actually use it in precarious situations where it is the only suitable form of transportation? I love languages. Did you know that I get to learn several (not just one extra) and will have to use them in a competent manner to relay the most important message? I like teaching. I get to teach a large group of pastors for some of whom I am the only resource.

I have a friend that likes to fly airplanes. We can use that here. I know people that love helping hurting people. We can use that here. Are you passionate about farming? I have more than a few things to pick your brain about. Do you like working with kids? or teenagers? We have those here. The best part is that there aren't 20 other groups EXACTLY like yours competing for the same people. You're the only one. If that doesn't translate into a fulfilling and satisfying life, I don't know what would. Here in Petén you can go places where you are the only person who knows ANYTHING about Jesus. Many places. If you really believe in heaven for those that trust in Jesus and hell for those who don't, how could you reject the call?

For those of you who have been reading, you know things aren't easy here. I would never want to give anybody the idea that everything here is "pie in the sky." You should never attempt this unless you are absolutely sure that God wants you here. But way too many people are so concerned about the hurdles that they never leave the starting line.

Should Have Never Tried It

Shaving with an electric razor...in Petén.

My first razor ever was an electric Norelco handed down from my dad so that he could get a new one. It was one of those right of passage things as a teenager. He showed me how to do the maintenance and I very deliberately took the thing apart (being careful not to mix up blades) and hand brushed it every week. With the amount of hair I had growing at the time it probably only needed to be done every two months, but I did it nonetheless.

Then at 18 I decided that it was much more manly to shave with a straight razor. I have been doing it that way ever since.

Then recently my wife asked me why I never used an electric razor, since both of our dads use them and it seems much easier. She apparently like the idea of not having to clean up hair and dried shaving cream off of everything, every. single. day. Or so I gathered...

So that was my Christmas gift. My one prerequisite was that it be able to be cleaned by running it under water. Not too much, but I dreaded the thought of having to clean it out and I knew this would lead to more cleaning for Shelley as she cleaned up the little hairs I had carefully cleaned out of the razor to leave on the sink. I picked one up at Sam's.

The instructions (yes I read them) said to shave with only the new razor for at least 21 days in order for your face to get used to it. Unfortunately my face never had a chance. Within 21 days I was back in Petén. Not only could it not handle any hair left to grow longer than 12 hours, electric razor manufacturers did not plan for 99% humidity day and night... When hair sticks to your face, it doesn't get cut.

Guatemalans are very particular about the way they look. Even if they don't bathe, they will get their hair wet to make it look like they did. You get no respect if you do not have a neat appearance (pants not shorts and not wrinkled) recently cut hair and a clean shaven face.

If I spend money on something, psychologically I have to use it, even if it doesn't work. I just can't stand the thought that I wasted money, so I will go way out of my way and spend lots of energy to make it work instead of going back to the easy simple way. I'm working on this.

These two things combined to cause me to spend 10-15 minutes at a time just trying to get a close shave so that I didn't look like a "vagabundo." Sometimes twice a day. This caused my face and neck to become so irritated and red that it was more distracting than if I had just grown a beard! People would ask if I got in a fight, or if I got bit by a bug, or if I had a Dengue rash... not to mention the pain when I would sweat (something that starts when you get to Petén and doesn't stop until you leave...or enter Pizza Hut).

Finally after 4 months I bought a cheap "normal" razor at the store and some shaving cream. Less than a minute later I had the best shave of my life and everything was back to normal. I can't stand the thought of throwing the razor away, so it will probably sit in a drawer until my boys can shave...

A Meeting With The Architect

So last week we met with our architect. We gave him a list of everything we would ever want in a house and asked him to draw it up for us. This is the same architect that designed a nice restaurant on Flores as well as the Burger King and Pollo Campero in Santa Elena. He said it would take a week to a week and a half to have the plans back, so I'm thinking three weeks. He had some really good ideas and repeated things back to us in a way that we know he understands.

He will be drawing up the construction plans, as well as a 3-D rendering. He will give us a Master Plan of the completed vision as well as each individual step so that we can start out with just what we need to move in and then add on later as funds permit. At least Guatemalans are used to this type of construction. He will also have a list of building materials needed for each phase and estimated cost. We get all of this for Q5,000 (which apparently is the "friend rate", ha ha) of which we paid Q2,000 up front. That's $641 total and $256 down for those of you in the States. Of course, after we get the plans there will be the usual and customary editing of those plans (more outlets please).

I'll let you know how close he comes the first time through...hopefully sooner than later.